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Help please.

NAS79708

Hi everyone,

My sister is 40years old and has always really struggled in social situations. Her interactions with outside world is always nearly negative. She's had problems with her neighbours, people at the bus stops, security guards, shopkeepers, work colleagues..the list goes on.

We have alway suspected she's on the spectrum but no one has ever mentioned it upfront to her. The problem now is that her interactions are becoming more aggressive and she ends up in sticky situations. How can I help her to self refer or how can I talk to her about this so that she can access help/counselling as she is also highly anxious.

Thanks in advance.

Parents

  • How we understand NeuroTypical individuals and how they understand us is always interesting. 

    I can see how someone who is in a complete state of confusion, never connecting with anyone, continually feeling dismissed, disregarded, ignored and as if everyone is speaking in a secret code can become aggressive. They can feel a deep sense of injustice and if they have any kind of moral back bone can feel a bit of a righteous anger in an oppressive society. 

    If there is a stigma around Spectrum/Autism because no one has been told it is simply a different way of perceiving and experiencing and communicating in the world not a disorder but a difference, than it might be hard to bring it up. I might suggest you buy a book called A Field Guide for Earthlings. Read a bit and bring it to her telling her you tried reading it for something you're working out but perhaps she can make better sense of it? A physical copy is easier for most of us to read than digital screens. Anything unnatural can be a source of pain when exposed to it. 

    One of the best ways for us to recognise being Autistic is by being exposed to others who are also. Just as most in society have a sort of social fluidity and feel generally understood, Autistics only experience this around each other. We have empathy for one another just like NeuroTypcial society has empathy for each other. NT to AS is where Relating With and Intuiting the Other becomes a problem (these being the sociological definition of 'Empathy').

Reply

  • How we understand NeuroTypical individuals and how they understand us is always interesting. 

    I can see how someone who is in a complete state of confusion, never connecting with anyone, continually feeling dismissed, disregarded, ignored and as if everyone is speaking in a secret code can become aggressive. They can feel a deep sense of injustice and if they have any kind of moral back bone can feel a bit of a righteous anger in an oppressive society. 

    If there is a stigma around Spectrum/Autism because no one has been told it is simply a different way of perceiving and experiencing and communicating in the world not a disorder but a difference, than it might be hard to bring it up. I might suggest you buy a book called A Field Guide for Earthlings. Read a bit and bring it to her telling her you tried reading it for something you're working out but perhaps she can make better sense of it? A physical copy is easier for most of us to read than digital screens. Anything unnatural can be a source of pain when exposed to it. 

    One of the best ways for us to recognise being Autistic is by being exposed to others who are also. Just as most in society have a sort of social fluidity and feel generally understood, Autistics only experience this around each other. We have empathy for one another just like NeuroTypcial society has empathy for each other. NT to AS is where Relating With and Intuiting the Other becomes a problem (these being the sociological definition of 'Empathy').

Children
  • in reply to JuniperFromGallifrey

    Yes she does often feel like this, she will say so and so is staring at her therefore she will do it back or ask them if they habe a problem. But to us it will be a security guard on duty watching all the customers. I will look into this book and try giving it to her. We have mentioned autism before to her but she got very upset and angy so wanted a tactile way of doing it.