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Advice or guidance

Sarah

Hi guys not really sure what I am after or what I need but I think I just need to get it off my chest.

My girl is 6 half an has a asd diagnosis and awaiting adhd.

When diagnosis came through I was relieved I finally had an answer but I feel lost an left.

Am a single parent, I also have a little boy who's 4 next month. They both are with me full time and I work full time they attend nursery an school.

Recently things have been getting hard I am feeling like am losing control my girl is lashing out tantrums hitting my destroying things just doesn't listen won't help its like she's going a million miles a hour 24 7. I can't get her to sleep any early than midnight maybe later Rolling eyes an alot of this is now being watched by my boy an he is now doing the same. They share a bedroom as I only have a 2 bed an I was told they could share. But right now I feel at a loss I need help but I don't no where to go Confused  I don't want family cause they butter it up say its just kids it's fine....
But there walking all over me I am mentally an physically drained and I suffer with anxiety an depression as it is... I genuinely feel like am losing control an I don't have the energy to get it back...

What can I do, where can I go, how do I control them Thinking since diagnosis I have heard nothing if anyone can help me please it would be much appreciated x

  • Hey Sarah. I totally understand where you are coming from and I know how exhausted emotionally and physically you must be. One thing that worked for me is setting up a routine. Every day at the same time I mention its time for bed soon and just leave it there to let the information settle in for a bit. Then it's pj time then teeth brushing which isn't always easy but no matter what it gets done. Then when it's bed time it's story time. I started off just choosing a book because my son would be jumping about and not paying attention but I carried on. After awhile he would listen and now he chooses which book is read to him. I also invested in some very heavy blackout curtains and also what has been a magic ingredient for us is his weighted blanket. The one that works for my son is so heavy, I really don't know how he tolerates it but he loves it and no longer wakes up all the time. Routines take longer to settle in so be patient. I used to think my son wasn't listening to me but I've learnt that he was and he just takes things in differently. He is non verbal so it's hard to judge what's going on sometimes. I just try to keep calm, carry on with the routine regardless and it has worked. Even if he is running riot, I still continue with at the same time everyday and he soon follows along. I know it's so very hard and exhausting and that families don't always understand. Mine are still under the illusion it will all just go away in time. We are experimenting with different weighted things to help with focus and concentration as my son loves deep pressure. There are also compression sheets that may help too and things that can be incorporated in play. Another amazing thing we have invested in is a dark den so my son can decompress after school or just relax in. I know it's hard but it's trial and error to find the things that work for you and your family xx