Daughter won't/can't speak

I had my daily update from school regarding my daughters day. Apparently she was well behaved and did all her work and that it took her a bit of time but went in eventually.

Their main concern today was that she did not speak at all. She's a very chatty, bubbly, funny girl unless she's struggling, which is when she struggles to verbally communicate her worries and issues. But today, she was happy and was amazing but didn't say a word. She used her pecs and lanyard, when prompted, to communicate if there was an issue but all she pointed to, was that she was happy. She would shake and nod her head, and laugh. If she needed help, which she did, she gave to teacher her pen and paper and tapped on it to say she needs help.

We don't know if she couldn't verbally speak, which happens sometimes when she's struggling but not like this or if she just didn't want to talk to anyone but it's just not her. Like I said, she was still funny, sassy and happy but just didn't verbally speak to anyone.

Parents

Ausomely Autistic over 3 years ago

Sometimes talking can require too much processing power (energy), it is not necessarily a sign of distress. I don’t think you should be concerned, she still seemed happy like you said.

I hope this helps.
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ParentingAutism over 3 years ago in reply to Ausomely Autistic

Thank you. Its easier to deal with when she's happy. Just carry on with what she's doing because she's happy. When she's not, that's when it is an issue, she will withdraw, shutdown and have self injurious behavior towards herself and others. On top of this she's unable to speak, and sometimes you can't figure out the issue. All forms of communication just shutdowns for her.
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ParentingAutism over 3 years ago in reply to Ausomely Autistic

Thank you. Its easier to deal with when she's happy. Just carry on with what she's doing because she's happy. When she's not, that's when it is an issue, she will withdraw, shutdown and have self injurious behavior towards herself and others. On top of this she's unable to speak, and sometimes you can't figure out the issue. All forms of communication just shutdowns for her.
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ParentingAutism over 3 years ago in reply to Ausomely Autistic

Thank you so much for this.
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Ausomely Autistic over 3 years ago in reply to ParentingAutism

You are very welcome. I imagine it is much easier to deal with when she is happy.

‘When she's not, that's when it is an issue, she will withdraw, shutdown and have self injurious behavior towards herself and others. On top of this she's unable to speak, and sometimes you can't figure out the issue. All forms of communication just shutdowns for her.’

This must be really frustrating and potentially scary for your daughter. All forms of communication shutdown because the situation you describe is a form of self preservation, there is no processing power left to be able to communicate. Everything must stop and reset in a sense, it gives the nervous system a chance to re-regulate. After the event is she able to articulate the trigger that caused it?

If not, she may need some support with interoception- being able to identify what is going on inside her body.

Also another thought- the concept of energy accounting might be useful:

https://www.purpleella.com/2018/06/07/energy-accounting/

https://www.forbes.com/sites/nicholasfearn/2019/08/17/autistic-teenager-creates-app-to-help-people-on-the-spectrum/amp/

I hope this helps.
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