Hi Everyone
joined this community after my health visitor gave me the info.
so my twin boys are really difficult together or as an individual. I have one that won’t make eye contact and one that does. The one that does is a hand full. He bits scratches punches and head butts. Not just his brother but all of us.
we noticed something was different with one as he wouldn’t make eye contact and doesn’t answer to his name has countless meltdowns and refuses to sleep he also rocks back and forth and flaps his arms. He is usually a happy chap and giggles and laughs at anything which amuses him and lives a good tickle. However, the slightest thing can send him into a spin where he is inconsolable and we can’t calm him down. A tantrum can go on for quite some time upto two hours or more. Day or night. He cannot speak or say words and repeats the same little gabble he makes all day everyday. He expresses this in multiple ways. Happy sad angry.
my other little one who makes eye contact and greats ppl happily but he is so uncontrollable. He lashes out and trust me it really hurts and it is so upsetting!! He also has difficulties going to sleep or staying asleep just like his brother. He doesn’t respond to his name either and occasionally he walks on til toes and spins in circles. He rocks back and forth in the pram always. He also recognises when he has pooped but then insists on trying to eat it and it’s so distressing for it to happen we have to change him as quickly as possible before he finds away of doing it. He also Haida everything and refuses to share and lacks u derstanding of sharing in a possessive way. And if not starts to hurt his brother or anyone else.
so to give a bigger picture this is based on how they both are.
neither understand the simplify of instructions and it’s as though language isn’t a thing. So not even so much as look at you when you call them individually or when you ask if they would like a drink, biscuit or chocolate. No recognition of anything at all neither can eat with a fork or spoon. They bite it and then throw it away. One will finger dry food and he takes a bite then throws the rest on the floor such as a sandwich or biscuit. Our other little boy is the same but he refuses to even pick most things up or touch them. And screws his face up. An example is. He loved jelly as a baby u til we encouraged him to touch it. Now he won’t eat it!
they can’t climb up stairs without crawling and there are a few issues such as they won’t even hold a crayon unless they try to eat it. The idea of using it to draw on paper doesn’t even seem to be something they recognise. No matter how many times we try. Potty training is completely out of the question as they wouldn’t even understand what it is or to do with it. This causes me so much anxiety. How do we even get them to recognise what it is?
they don’t play with toys how they should and all they want to play with are balls and cars because they constantly roll them over the floor or unit examining the wheels as they turn.
they cannot be left unattended for even a minute if I need to go to the toilet due to the climbing and the biting.
neither of them sleep me and my husband are at a complete loss. They refuse to sleep they wake in the night screaming (not night terrors, which we originally thought). If they arnt screaming they think it’s play time and sit in their cots laughing clapping and shouting for hours on end. They will nap in the day but it’s a challenge to get them down. Bed time in our house is 7:30 hoping by eight they are asleep. Every night without fail we are still trying to get them to sleep at ten o’clock. Finally they go asleep between 10-11 but then are awake again in around 3 hours they both wake up at around 6 but never later than 7.
I cannot take either of them anywhere on my own because of the struggle and tantrums or fighting. If I am with someone and take them to a play ground they don’t understand that it’s time to leave and all hell breaks loose. To the point where ppl stare. I’m not bothered about that one but I’m too busy trying to keep my children from hurting themselves or each other to be interested in other ppls thoughts.
but please tell me I cannot be alone in this and is there any support anywhere me and my husband are hanging in by a thread. We have no time to relax or gather a thought. It’s just constant. My health visitor is very good. She has referred them to:
hearing
spearhead and language
portage
early years forum
Paediatric
the only ones we have heard from are hearing and it’s been six weeks
is there any help anywhere we don’t qualify for free child placement and most days they just seem so unhappy it’s killing me. I feel like everything I do is wrong and upsets them. It’s breaking my heart.
