Hi everyone :)
I was wondering if anyone could possibly offer me some advice. Some guidance. Some clarification.
My daughter Bella (Age: 3 Years, 8 Months) is the most wonderful, happy little girl and she has bought such joy to my life. I strongly suspect she is autistic. Background: Since Birth, her development has been normal but she has taken longer to meet milestones. She sat up unaided at age 8 months, she walked for the first time at 18 months. There weren't really any apparent indicators for me before the age of 2 and a half.
Now: Bella isn't toilet/potty trained. She withholds her stools and has done for about a year and a half. She is on a daily stool softener and has been for some time but this is something that has flared up again since I stupidly reduced the dose, so we are back to square one with that. She holds her stool in until she is sweating and crying purely because she doesn't like how it feels. Unless her stools are runny, she can't handle letting it out. With urinating, she refuses to go on a toilet or a potty - she has held in her urine for around 5 hours (being the record) when I was trying to train her which resulted in her making herself unwell. It is not lack of control, she just will not go anywhere other than a nappy and to suggest otherwise causes her such severe distress, we have just stopped trying. (Reward Charts, Bribery, Books about potty training go completely over her head).
Bella also has a speech and language delay. 80% of her communication is echolalia. All of her pronouns are reversed. She is unable to answer 'Yes' to questions. She doesn't call for me "Mummy?!" or ask for me by name. I can't have any form of chit chat with her. If I was to ask Bella "What's your name?", she's unsure what I mean so cannot tell me that her name is Bella. Equally she's unable to ask any questions back. We paid for a private speech therapist who assessed her and confirmed that 'yes she has a delay' but it didn't go any further than suggesting flash cards (again, went right over Bella's head).
Bella doesn't play with toys. Her mode of playing is lining up her teddy's in one location and then moving them to another location. Things like doll houses, outside bikes etc are not of any interest to her. She becomes obsessive over certain toys - at the moment, she carries two 'Chico Nightlights' around with her everywhere - she calls them 'block'. We can't go anywhere without her having these big bulky lights with us which can be a bit awkward!!
Socially, she loves being around other children and doesn't seem to understand 'personal space'. She doesn't play 'with' children but likes to be alongside. She has only just learnt how to 'wave' at others but doesn't use any other hand gestures etc. When excited or happy, she pumps her arms in front of her repeatedly.
I have been in touch with her GP - Who told me to contact her Health Visitor for an 'assessment'. I've done this and I am waiting for a response. I guess I wanted to see if there were other parents like me - feeling a little bit overwhelmed. Is there anyone here that is autistic and can identify with some of Bella's traits? The communication barrier and the lack of toilet training is definitely making me feel quite down in the dumps and hopeless - as though I'm not doing it right. I'm failing her. etc. I just want to know that all will be okay and my girl will have a happy life.
Thank you.
