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School Refusal - School want to physically drag him in

NAS79375

Hi all,

I just came out of a meeting with school about my son's school refusal and putting in a positive handling plan (PHP). I thought this would be in order to prevent physical handling from being used to get him into school as it has been done in the past. However, it seems school wants to go back to dragging him into school. He is 6 years old and we are in the process of assessing for ASD.

Does anyone have any experience of school refusal and physical restraint?

Do I have the right to withdraw consent given he is not hurting anyone, or himself, or property and is just refusing to physically walk into school or physically let me go once we are in there?

I feel like they are using physical restraint inappropriately in this case. Beginning of last term he was dragged in nearly daily for three weeks before I told them not to do it anymore. He was having nightmares, meltdowns, high anxiety and refusing to sleep/waking constantly and it was getting progressively worse. They then implemented a handful of badly implemented strategies for the school refusal and have circled back to this.

Any experiences or thoughts really welcome. Feeling quite alone.

  • Can you contact SENDIASS to ask for advice? You can Google for your local one. 

  • your poor son, no wonder he doesn't want to go to school if he's treated like that. sounds like you are doing all you can as well, which must be so frustrating when the school still won't help. 

    i would suggest sitting down with the school and discussing why he doesn't want to go in and what they can put in place to help however doesn't sound like that is likely to happen

  • What good is this to anyone?? What a waste of efforts and resources to intentionally create more problems which will only end in further trauma/violence. Kids usually want to be with peers, so something is terribly wrong. This is like waterboarding. And forcing a prisoner to comply is illegal. This sounds like abuse. 

    SLEEP issues as a consequence of this kind of violence should be immediately brought to the GP. That should give you some leverage. 

  • in reply to NAS79375

    Yes, to me it seems horribly wrong and when it's already led to "nightmares, meltdowns, high anxiety and refusing to sleep/waking constantly" it would be hard to find educational benefits that outweigh all of this.  And yes, I'd continue to log everything and make sure it's all in writing in an email because it sounds as though you're doing all you can but the school frankly isn't. 

    My sons, now in their late 20s, are still struggling with some of the consequences of school trauma and this definitely isn't addressed by physical restraint or forcing a child to attend.  Making the system more autism-friendly would help but be aware that many autistic advocates see conventional schooling (as opposed to child-led education) as automatically damaging to autistic people.         

  • in reply to Peter

    This is a very good point. Thank you for replying. I will look into that change in discrimination rules. 

  • in reply to Jenny Butterfly

    Thank you for replying. I am actually signed up for the Nuture Programme that starts tomorrow. I have heard it is wonderful. My main concern is the potential damage to my son that restraining him physically will do. We began this whole school refusal with physical restraint and to circle back round to it seems bonkers. 

    At this point I just don't know what more I can say and suggest to this school. They have tried almost no other strategies and are horribly quick to use physical intervention. I will check out the Aucademy resources and...try again with yet another email. It is validating to hear that my gut reaction that this is wrong seems that way to others.

    Thank you.

  • My sons are now adults but I look back with deep regret at some of the mistakes we and educators made, long before we knew we  were autistic.  Given the damage (i.e. enduring trauma) that was caused, I honestly wish we'd home educated instead.  I would advise looking at The Nurture Programme, including their Facebook page, plus also Jodie Smitten's website and FB page.

    thenurtureprogramme.co.uk/   

    https://www.jodiesmitten.co.uk/

    Ausome Training have some good resources too and all of these contain the information and guidance that I really wish I'd had when my boys were younger.  It may be that Aucademy have some relevant (free) Youtube videos too, but, generally speaking, most autistic-led resources would be reframing "school refusal" entirely and focussing on the problems within the system that often end up traumatising neurodivergent children, then looking at what can be done to help and support instead.  Dragging a very young child into a school he clearly feels deeply unhappy with and distressed by seems unlikely to lead to positive results.    

  • You might suggest that you think that physical restraint is likely to provoke violence on his part and that it would be a reasonable adjustment not to use physical restraint. You might point out that under the ruling of C & C v The Governing Body of a School student violence is no longer an exemption to discrimination rules and they are unlikely to be able to justify temporary or permanent exclusion on the basis of your sons violence if they use physical restraint.