Son refuses to go to bed, pinching, scratching

I am so sorry. I see now you were trying to help your child. I'm recently diagnosed and I'm looking back through my life because I always felt like a problem to my parents. You aren't my parents, you are doing a good thing in trying to help your child and yourselves

 I hope I haven't put you off. Again so sorry.

My son could find going to bed difficult. He still can try to put it off when he is anxious. The pinching and scratching may be a way of showing anxiety.

Going to bed is a transition so can be challenging. I wasn't keen as a child going upstairs to bed. I used to see shadows which frightened me. I had to have a light on. My son often had music on too. 

When he was younger I sometimes used a toy to encourage him to go to bed which he could then cuddle in bed.

The other thing I have done is to do something in a room near him so he knew he was not alone.

I wonder what routine you have before bed. My son has always enjoyed a bath before bed which helps him to relax 

We had to move my daughter’s bedtime forward by half an hour when she started school because she was too overtired to sleep which helped. She stopped napping when she was 2. Has he only just dropped his naps or has anything else changed in his daily or weekly routine?

I can hear your hurt:( Did you also experience a lot of unnecessary unkindness from your parents? My mother and I no longer speak... 

It's hard to assume the best sometimes when Autistics experience so little compassion. 

I just watched the second Fantastic Beasts. Newt is 100% autistic. I wish the world could understand the potential we all have and help us thrive.

One thing that's rather over looked for autistic individuals is our wild imagination. We can have incredible dreams, and a rich inner life. But it does not come without nightmares. From what I understand, there are only a few autistic individuals who cannot envision with this vivid  picture-thinking that is something unique to us. As we get older, with help and understanding and possibly with spiritual grounding or even just knowing someone is there, we can learn to steady the imagination but not as children. 

Being extra tired can make this even worse. When I was younger, if I was beyond exhausted and fell asleep it was so intense I felt like I was literally having an out of body experience, which was terrifying. I would see the dark side of individuals in my 'minds eye' as an embodiment of monsters. I might also have Devine encounters. There is something to the Autistic originally being identified as Schizophrenic. What marks a difference is, the Autistic can slowly grow out of it in their 20's, while the Schizophrenic will need a drug to regulate the little part of the brain responsible for helping identify fantasy from reality around this same age.

Your son needs to feel safe to thrive. As a mother, it's my job to make my son feel that. There are few matters of grave importance in life. Where one falls asleep makes little difference so long as they get the sleep they need and do not end up tormented alone in a dark room with no shelter from their fears. Humans do not naturally live in isolation, nor sleep alone. This new idea appeared in the 20th century, which may have been a fantasy ideal of Royalty. 

The world is an overwhelming place. These fears are not imagined. But the imagination will turn them into something a small person does not have the life experience and mature perspectives to overcome. 

You need to communicate not dictate

1. Give them space and stop trying to control them.

It'd normally the ones that can't cope through school holidays!

• Hey guess what...life isn't a dream! Do you know what autistic really is? ....its not about how you want the world to be.i seriously dislike how parents jump on this forum and expect their perfect solution. You had your child...deal with them you freaks.maybe grow some love and care ffs