• Replies 11 replies
  • Subscribers 73 subscribers
  • Views 2588 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Malicious rumours

Mysterio23

My sweet, innocent, naive 18 year old son with ASD is experiencing vile and malicious rumours going around about him at college which are completely untrue. We are at a loss at what to do. The police aren't interested.  We have informed the college but not all the culprits go there so there is little they can do. As a result, he is extremely depressed, anxious and is self harming. He wants to move colleges as his reputation is in tatter but I feel he shouldn't have to. Has anybody else's child experienced this awful traumatising stuff? We've been told it's a civil matter but no guarantee of getting an injunction or charges pressed and have to pay £300 per culprit!! Help!

Parents

  • Moving isn't always the best option, but my son switched Uni after a year. The world is big and there is something to cutting ones loses and having a fresh start. At some point in 10 or 20 years he may have built up better rules to negotiate through something like this or have the confidence to brush them off like fruit flies. But this is a time when he should be acquiring skills and learning amazing things. Not dealing with a mini-mob. 

    This is a great read on whether or not to just cut ties or spend time trying to repair: https://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-***  (I'm going to apologise in advance. This article swears like an Aussie, but it is incredibly funny and critically on point and at 18, going through this nonsense, might really help with perspective and dig him out of this chaos. You could paste it into a document and edit out a few bits which might be too mature, and it would still be really good.) 

    He maybe needs a clear perspective on how what goes around comes around. Maybe a good book or a good church group. These kids may have won a round but, if when opening ones mouth, a bin of rubbish just drools out, it's not only ugly, it will come back to haunt them. Nothing is without consequence. But at this point it might be better to redirect his focus. Having agency to say no more and leave a situation IS a healthy response to an unhealthy situation. It's completely valid to find an exit in an abusive environment. 

    He's much better off in a situation he's inspired and productive than one he's not ready or skilled to fight (just yet), agreeing with and internalising these bullies by hurting himself as a result.  

Reply

  • Moving isn't always the best option, but my son switched Uni after a year. The world is big and there is something to cutting ones loses and having a fresh start. At some point in 10 or 20 years he may have built up better rules to negotiate through something like this or have the confidence to brush them off like fruit flies. But this is a time when he should be acquiring skills and learning amazing things. Not dealing with a mini-mob. 

    This is a great read on whether or not to just cut ties or spend time trying to repair: https://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-***  (I'm going to apologise in advance. This article swears like an Aussie, but it is incredibly funny and critically on point and at 18, going through this nonsense, might really help with perspective and dig him out of this chaos. You could paste it into a document and edit out a few bits which might be too mature, and it would still be really good.) 

    He maybe needs a clear perspective on how what goes around comes around. Maybe a good book or a good church group. These kids may have won a round but, if when opening ones mouth, a bin of rubbish just drools out, it's not only ugly, it will come back to haunt them. Nothing is without consequence. But at this point it might be better to redirect his focus. Having agency to say no more and leave a situation IS a healthy response to an unhealthy situation. It's completely valid to find an exit in an abusive environment. 

    He's much better off in a situation he's inspired and productive than one he's not ready or skilled to fight (just yet), agreeing with and internalising these bullies by hurting himself as a result.  

Children
No Data