Autism or neglect?

I'm becoming increasingly concerned about a young boy I know, he's ten years old and homeschooled. His mother has self diagnosed autism and uses it to excuse his behaviour and his lack of development.

He can verbally communicate like any other 10 year old, understands instructions, can play games requiring rules etc he can control a pen to draw. He plays computer games like minecraft. He walks and runs perfectly well. Plays tennis and swims etc

However, he can't read (at all), he can't write or spell. He still goes in a pushchair. I know from conversations with other parents who know them that his mother still takes him to the bathroom, she bathes him and they share a bed. Whenever I've seen him have a tantrum, she starts panicking saying things like "okay okay we don't have to do that". He freaks out if his needs aren't met instantly, she has several bags with her always, containing spare clothes, medi kit, food, drinks, activities, blanket etc. He tends to ignore adults, but talks fine with other children. The mum has said to another mum she prefers him to have younger friends cause she doesn't want him to grow up too fast. She says she prefers unschooling, and doesn't ever make him do work.

It's very odd, and I fear she's using autism to cover up the fact she's failed to teach him how to read and write. She does everything she can to prevent tantrums, she panders to his behaviour. If he doesn't want to do something, he doesn't do it simple.o

I don't know, I'm wondering if parents of actual diagnosed children feel like this is familiar or if something is off. Does this sound like autism or neglect

Parents
  • Hi. Could be autism, but it sounds concerning to me either way. I have worked with children for 20 years and strongly feel this needs a referral to local social care which can be done anonymously. They are there to support not to rush in and remove children. This may be just what this family needs. If the mother has nothing to worry about she should have no concerns. Hope this works out for them but imagine how you would feel if you did not act and this child was being abused. Another option would be to contact NSPCC. 

Reply
  • Hi. Could be autism, but it sounds concerning to me either way. I have worked with children for 20 years and strongly feel this needs a referral to local social care which can be done anonymously. They are there to support not to rush in and remove children. This may be just what this family needs. If the mother has nothing to worry about she should have no concerns. Hope this works out for them but imagine how you would feel if you did not act and this child was being abused. Another option would be to contact NSPCC. 

Children
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