Autism or neglect?

I'm becoming increasingly concerned about a young boy I know, he's ten years old and homeschooled. His mother has self diagnosed autism and uses it to excuse his behaviour and his lack of development.

He can verbally communicate like any other 10 year old, understands instructions, can play games requiring rules etc he can control a pen to draw. He plays computer games like minecraft. He walks and runs perfectly well. Plays tennis and swims etc

However, he can't read (at all), he can't write or spell. He still goes in a pushchair. I know from conversations with other parents who know them that his mother still takes him to the bathroom, she bathes him and they share a bed. Whenever I've seen him have a tantrum, she starts panicking saying things like "okay okay we don't have to do that". He freaks out if his needs aren't met instantly, she has several bags with her always, containing spare clothes, medi kit, food, drinks, activities, blanket etc. He tends to ignore adults, but talks fine with other children. The mum has said to another mum she prefers him to have younger friends cause she doesn't want him to grow up too fast. She says she prefers unschooling, and doesn't ever make him do work.

It's very odd, and I fear she's using autism to cover up the fact she's failed to teach him how to read and write. She does everything she can to prevent tantrums, she panders to his behaviour. If he doesn't want to do something, he doesn't do it simple.o

I don't know, I'm wondering if parents of actual diagnosed children feel like this is familiar or if something is off. Does this sound like autism or neglect

Parents
  • Hi

    Just had to say. Maybe his mother has read a lot and understands that mainstream school has its downsides and that by unschooling she can follow his lead. The non reading may be dyslexia.

    Toileting and how he sleeps are none of your or my business.

    Honestly just read this and feel bad for her, way to make her feel possibly more isolated by judging her. If he’s happy I don’t see any issue. My son is autistic and she seems pretty good and prepared by what you say.

    how about you keep it friendly and less judgemental xx

Reply
  • Hi

    Just had to say. Maybe his mother has read a lot and understands that mainstream school has its downsides and that by unschooling she can follow his lead. The non reading may be dyslexia.

    Toileting and how he sleeps are none of your or my business.

    Honestly just read this and feel bad for her, way to make her feel possibly more isolated by judging her. If he’s happy I don’t see any issue. My son is autistic and she seems pretty good and prepared by what you say.

    how about you keep it friendly and less judgemental xx

Children
  • I think that people are only suggesting that the situation be investigated by the relevant authorities. If there is nothing awry, then nothing will change. If there is something happening that is definitely detrimental to the welfare of the child, then it can be addressed. Believing the best about everyone is sometimes not the correct approach. The fact that the mother seems to be avoiding medical and educational interactions for her son is suspicious. Diagnosing an offspring with a neurodevelopmental condition as a layperson and not following this up by seeking a clinical diagnosis is suspicious.