Autism or neglect?

I'm becoming increasingly concerned about a young boy I know, he's ten years old and homeschooled. His mother has self diagnosed autism and uses it to excuse his behaviour and his lack of development.

He can verbally communicate like any other 10 year old, understands instructions, can play games requiring rules etc he can control a pen to draw. He plays computer games like minecraft. He walks and runs perfectly well. Plays tennis and swims etc

However, he can't read (at all), he can't write or spell. He still goes in a pushchair. I know from conversations with other parents who know them that his mother still takes him to the bathroom, she bathes him and they share a bed. Whenever I've seen him have a tantrum, she starts panicking saying things like "okay okay we don't have to do that". He freaks out if his needs aren't met instantly, she has several bags with her always, containing spare clothes, medi kit, food, drinks, activities, blanket etc. He tends to ignore adults, but talks fine with other children. The mum has said to another mum she prefers him to have younger friends cause she doesn't want him to grow up too fast. She says she prefers unschooling, and doesn't ever make him do work.

It's very odd, and I fear she's using autism to cover up the fact she's failed to teach him how to read and write. She does everything she can to prevent tantrums, she panders to his behaviour. If he doesn't want to do something, he doesn't do it simple.o

I don't know, I'm wondering if parents of actual diagnosed children feel like this is familiar or if something is off. Does this sound like autism or neglect

Parents
  • No, this is parent problem not an autism one. It's not neglect, but it is dangerous. It sounds like this mother has a personality disorder and is enabling the her child to be dependant on her so that he will never leave her. Only issue with this is it can develop into a situation where if the child starts to become independent the mother may deliberately sabotage or possible position her child into being venerable. 

    Schooling is something very complex, but the mother if homeschooling which means she should be meeting with someone regular to discuss her son's education and show evidence of schooling, there is currently no legal obligation but local authority do check up on home school situations however monitoring needn't take the form of a formal inspection: often, councils are satisfied with a written statement of how you're providing for your child.

    If you are concerned you can report it through the local authority (Not social services) and contact the Department of education. 

Reply
  • No, this is parent problem not an autism one. It's not neglect, but it is dangerous. It sounds like this mother has a personality disorder and is enabling the her child to be dependant on her so that he will never leave her. Only issue with this is it can develop into a situation where if the child starts to become independent the mother may deliberately sabotage or possible position her child into being venerable. 

    Schooling is something very complex, but the mother if homeschooling which means she should be meeting with someone regular to discuss her son's education and show evidence of schooling, there is currently no legal obligation but local authority do check up on home school situations however monitoring needn't take the form of a formal inspection: often, councils are satisfied with a written statement of how you're providing for your child.

    If you are concerned you can report it through the local authority (Not social services) and contact the Department of education. 

Children
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