Sorry in advance for long post.
Our 5 1/2 year old is currently going through umbrella pathway for a diagnosis but it is general consensus that she has ASD. She had delayed speech but is now fully verbal. We have had ongoing issues with toilet training. She has never fully "got it" with regular accident (even on "dry" days, she still has wet patches). She knows what the toilet is for and will often know to go if she is not wearing any sort of underwear (e.g. when wearing a nightie). However, as soon as she is wearing pants, it seems she completely ignores the cues.
Even when she does have an accident, she doesn't tell anyone and just carries on with her day but when you ask her whether she is wet, she will say no. However, she knows when she is going because she will crouch down when she feels it coming. When we ask whether she needs the toilet, she says "no" despite the fact she then proceeds to wet herself.
We have been back to the GP numerous times and they have just said "oh it's quite normal. She'll get it in the end but she's obviously just too distracted to notice that she needs to go" but this isn't the case as she knows when she needs to go as displayed by the change in body language and facial expression when she is about to go.
We did wonder whether it was linked to constipation as she often tries to hold in a number 2 with all her might but, again, the GP dismissed this despite evidence to the contrary. When she is aware, it often feels like it rushes on her so wonder whether it could be overactive bladder but, again, this was dismissed.
When we ask why she doesn't go to the toilet, she either says "I don't know" or "stop talking about it". So we don't know what's happening and we are struggling as she comes home from school absolutely soaked but because she won't tell anyone, teachers don't know. We have tried a toilet reminder watch but she refuses to go when it buzzes.
We have tried rewards but, again, little impact. I have read the guidance on here and followed it as much as possible but, again, little impact. We try and remain calm but often get frustrated which might explain her reluctance to let anyone know that she is wet which obviously adds to the guilt.
Really struggling and as she gets older, other children will obviously become more aware of the difference etc. Just wondering whether anyone else has any similar experiences and any strategies?
Thanks.
