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Transitioning to University

LaLiseuse

My adult child has a place at University but has deferred for two years in a row due to not feeling ready to go or to live away from home. They definitely need some support but I do not know what specifically to ask for, either from the University itself or from any other source of support. Please advise! Thank you,

Parents

  • In my case I was able to go to a university near enough to home to commute. But that's not practical for everyone. My feeling is the average autistic student is going to have the same domestic challenges a lot of students have and probably need to learn to cope with them by being thrown in at the deep end. Food, cleaning, washing. Students go through their messy, take out loving, underwear inside out phases but they generally push through.

    The issue is more likely to be the social side. Dealing with house mates or shared facilities. Maintaining enough social contact not to feel isolated. Dealing with points of conflict when lecturers or other students misinterpret autism as aggression / rudeness.

    Contingency and preparedness planing could include:

    1. A careful plan for his accommodation.
      1. Will he live alone?
      2. If so will he have to share a kitchen / bathroom?
      3. Will the area be noisy?
      4. Should / could house mates be vetted in some way?
    2. A predetermined schedule of social activities.
      1. What clubs and activities could he go to or become involved in?
      2. What kind of people are in them?
      3. Where and how do they socialise?
      4. What is the culture of each society like, is it very alcohol focused? Does it have a diverse membership?
    3. A conflict resolution plan.
      1. In the event that he should find him self in conflict with a staff member or other student what protocol should be used to resolve the situation?
      2. Should the disability unit keep a document on standby explaining how his autistic traits might be misinterpreted or could lead to conflict unintentionally?
      3. Should there be an understanding that the disability unit will facilitate some sort of mediation if any conflict looks like it could lead to a formal complaint?
  • in reply to Peter

    I agree. Loads of great ideas above. When I went to college I found the social side really challenging - I drank quite a lot of alcohol to help me cope with that (if that’s ‘coping’ - it probably isn’t really!).

    it’s also true that most students struggle with the practical side of things - and if they stay in Halls it’s not as scary from a practical point of view. The people in Halls though - that can be quite intense. 
    I struggled but I don’t  regret going (and I met my future husband there too :) 

Reply
  • in reply to Peter

    I agree. Loads of great ideas above. When I went to college I found the social side really challenging - I drank quite a lot of alcohol to help me cope with that (if that’s ‘coping’ - it probably isn’t really!).

    it’s also true that most students struggle with the practical side of things - and if they stay in Halls it’s not as scary from a practical point of view. The people in Halls though - that can be quite intense. 
    I struggled but I don’t  regret going (and I met my future husband there too :) 

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