Daughter struggling to attend school, EW potentially pursuing prosecution

Hi all,

My wife and I have three high-functioning autistic children, and are currently experiencing extreme issues with getting the youngest (8) into school. She hasn't really enjoyed the school environment for years, but things have become much, much more difficult since schools reopened mid-pandemic with such an extended time at home.

If she's in for four half days in the same week, we consider that something of a win at the moment, to be honest; two part days is probably the average. Her attendance dropped to the point where we're a few months into meetings with the headteacher and an Educational Welfare rep. Frustratingly, we feel that they are both disregarding the autism diagnosis to a certain extent, and view it as a simple case of us not trying hard enough to get her in. The school have in all fairness offered very welcome concessions and help (including sand tray therapy, some opportunities to sit outside of class or leave when needed, and a 'worry journal' - which we do not have access to), but the EW rep is currently refusing to issue an EHCP because our daughter is in school so little. At our request, the school SENCO has finally started attending meetings, but she tends to side with her boss.

Last week, our daughter got to school on time for the first time in literally months - and had a panic attack on arrival. She started to hyperventilate, but fortunately, my wife was able to calm her down. We feel like we're rapidly running out of options, and need some help. We're currently trying to get some sort of note from the doctor regarding the school anxiety (to be clear, she does have a formal autism diagnosis).

We've tried rewards, and we're regularly trying to get her to tell us exactly what is making her anxious. The former has little impact, and we've only had limited success with the latter. Every autistic child is different of course, but... does anybody have any suggestions for how we can help her feel better, and encourage her to attend? Any suggestions of things we should bring up at these meetings, or help we can seek? I'm already planning to ask if they've issued staff with autism awareness training, as teachers and TAs appear to be inconsistent in this regard. Have you had a similar experience?

Sorry for the long post. Thank you for reading, and any suggestions very much welcome!

Parents
  • Hi just read your story same as mine we’ve struggles with my son for years he’s now 15 and very difficult age now,we’ve also had regardless meetings and attendance low had a court warning if don’t attended. In a month just had a diagnosis that he has autism which is great thought be easier now school will help more but no!,,,There saying they got all in place for him so would like to apply for the EHCP which if did get this want have this till he finishes school. We are at our wits end. You can’t force them as my son then has meltdowns and start ripping he’s clothes,we got to go work so can’t cope with this in the morning trying get them to school.

    I think is totally wrong if a child has a diagnosis to take us parents to court because they’re different and can’t cope it’s so wrong! Makes me mad I feel your pain! We were pushed under the carpet for years relentless meetings after meetings. Sending love.xx just knowing who to go to there’s no sopport. 

Reply
  • Hi just read your story same as mine we’ve struggles with my son for years he’s now 15 and very difficult age now,we’ve also had regardless meetings and attendance low had a court warning if don’t attended. In a month just had a diagnosis that he has autism which is great thought be easier now school will help more but no!,,,There saying they got all in place for him so would like to apply for the EHCP which if did get this want have this till he finishes school. We are at our wits end. You can’t force them as my son then has meltdowns and start ripping he’s clothes,we got to go work so can’t cope with this in the morning trying get them to school.

    I think is totally wrong if a child has a diagnosis to take us parents to court because they’re different and can’t cope it’s so wrong! Makes me mad I feel your pain! We were pushed under the carpet for years relentless meetings after meetings. Sending love.xx just knowing who to go to there’s no sopport. 

Children
No Data