Daughter struggling to attend school, EW potentially pursuing prosecution

Hi all,

My wife and I have three high-functioning autistic children, and are currently experiencing extreme issues with getting the youngest (8) into school. She hasn't really enjoyed the school environment for years, but things have become much, much more difficult since schools reopened mid-pandemic with such an extended time at home.

If she's in for four half days in the same week, we consider that something of a win at the moment, to be honest; two part days is probably the average. Her attendance dropped to the point where we're a few months into meetings with the headteacher and an Educational Welfare rep. Frustratingly, we feel that they are both disregarding the autism diagnosis to a certain extent, and view it as a simple case of us not trying hard enough to get her in. The school have in all fairness offered very welcome concessions and help (including sand tray therapy, some opportunities to sit outside of class or leave when needed, and a 'worry journal' - which we do not have access to), but the EW rep is currently refusing to issue an EHCP because our daughter is in school so little. At our request, the school SENCO has finally started attending meetings, but she tends to side with her boss.

Last week, our daughter got to school on time for the first time in literally months - and had a panic attack on arrival. She started to hyperventilate, but fortunately, my wife was able to calm her down. We feel like we're rapidly running out of options, and need some help. We're currently trying to get some sort of note from the doctor regarding the school anxiety (to be clear, she does have a formal autism diagnosis).

We've tried rewards, and we're regularly trying to get her to tell us exactly what is making her anxious. The former has little impact, and we've only had limited success with the latter. Every autistic child is different of course, but... does anybody have any suggestions for how we can help her feel better, and encourage her to attend? Any suggestions of things we should bring up at these meetings, or help we can seek? I'm already planning to ask if they've issued staff with autism awareness training, as teachers and TAs appear to be inconsistent in this regard. Have you had a similar experience?

Sorry for the long post. Thank you for reading, and any suggestions very much welcome!

Parents
  • Hello, I am sorry to hear about your daughter's struggles. It must be hard for her and I know for sure it is for you and your wife. I am in a similar situation. My son is 7 and refusing to go to school again. He is able to tell us what bothers him and we are now waiting for the Senco to have a meeting and discuss all that is going on. He has an Ehcp but we are not sure school is following it (that is another story). I have no advice for strategies to convince our little ones.. They do not work with my boy anyway. Maybe you should ask your school to change their accommodations as that's clearly not working. Also, I do not know where you are but there are places where you can get advice regarding Ehcp like Sendiass or IPSEA. And I am pretty sure that you can ask for and assessment for an Ehcp to your local authority if school does not want to.

    I hope this helps. Good luck. 

  • Thanks for the suggestions. Our most recent meeting was surprisingly positive; it's a long road, but things are looking slightly better than they did a few days ago 

    I'm glad your son is communicative, I hope this helps his situation improve.

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