Concerned our high functioning child will not be diagnosed as autistic because his traits aren’t severe.

NAS78326 said:

We are wondering if anyone else has experienced doctors not believing your child is autistic because they are high functioning

Hi there. I am brand new to the forum and have found this space because i am really struggling with the same thing. I have a 13 year old daughter who has severe anxiety and now depression as well, because she has become so isolated being off school and not being able to socially connect, and yet she is very high functioning, very intelligent and willing academically - actually loves the structure of school and is doing most of her education through working with the teachers via email - off her own back. We had our assessment a couple of months ago and I was very dismissively told that she can feel empathy, she doesn't spin around and bang her head against things, or line things up, can make eye contact and hold a back and forth exchange and therefore isn't ASD. All these are masking behaviours which cost her hugely in effort and anxiety, and she is 13 and high functioning so why would she spin around and bang her head on things. And in what day and age have we gone back to thinking that ASD people can't feel empathy? All the research shows that they often feel too much and are overwhelmed but can't cognitively process it. The doctor told me that she was underweight and needed to exercise more, as last messages as we were going out the door. I felt effectively told off as if I was making it up and being a bad parent. I was so upset, and felt invalidated, unsupported..... 

I am at my wits end with it. She is self harming, and the counsellor supporting us says that if we hadn't already gone for the ASD assessment she would ask us to because she says there are markers for ASD. The school are giving me the brush off.... 'oh well, you don't need the label'..... kind of approach like it doesn't matter. 

I can't access the specialist support for her without the label and there is lack of understanding of what is driving her anxiety if they don't recognise the ASD and the masking. 

Sorry, didn't mean to hijack your thread with my story, i was just so relieved to find other people struggling too. 

Robin xx

NAS78326 said:

We are wondering if anyone else has experienced doctors not believing your child is autistic because they are high functioning

Hi there. I am brand new to the forum and have found this space because i am really struggling with the same thing. I have a 13 year old daughter who has severe anxiety and now depression as well, because she has become so isolated being off school and not being able to socially connect, and yet she is very high functioning, very intelligent and willing academically - actually loves the structure of school and is doing most of her education through working with the teachers via email - off her own back. We had our assessment a couple of months ago and I was very dismissively told that she can feel empathy, she doesn't spin around and bang her head against things, or line things up, can make eye contact and hold a back and forth exchange and therefore isn't ASD. All these are masking behaviours which cost her hugely in effort and anxiety, and she is 13 and high functioning so why would she spin around and bang her head on things. And in what day and age have we gone back to thinking that ASD people can't feel empathy? All the research shows that they often feel too much and are overwhelmed but can't cognitively process it. The doctor told me that she was underweight and needed to exercise more, as last messages as we were going out the door. I felt effectively told off as if I was making it up and being a bad parent. I was so upset, and felt invalidated, unsupported..... 

I am at my wits end with it. She is self harming, and the counsellor supporting us says that if we hadn't already gone for the ASD assessment she would ask us to because she says there are markers for ASD. The school are giving me the brush off.... 'oh well, you don't need the label'..... kind of approach like it doesn't matter. 

I can't access the specialist support for her without the label and there is lack of understanding of what is driving her anxiety if they don't recognise the ASD and the masking. 

Sorry, didn't mean to hijack your thread with my story, i was just so relieved to find other people struggling too. 

Robin xx