do i get a diagnosis???

Hi

I'm a newbie here looking for some words of advice.

I have a 6 year old who i suspect, and others support my feeling that he may have Aspergers. I'm trying not to gabble so at the risk of sounding robotic here's why.

- He has obbsessions, at the minute it's star wars. He has arranged his models in a certain way, if one is moved so much as a tad it's meltdown. And i mean, complete utter end of the world meltdown.

- Talking of meltdowns, we walk constantly on eggshells. When he's lovely he's lovely, but at the click of a finger he can loose control and these can last minutes, hours or all day.... and it's a nightmare. I can't call it a tantrum because sometimes it's like a panic attack, and he can't get himself back from it. 

-He struggles in crowded spaces, namely shops especially with music.. it's meltdown time. Great fun last week when books started flying in the library and he walked through town on knees screaming blue murder while people were looking like they wanted to murder me. Although in other situations ie, school he can get anxious but he copes.

- He is extra sensitive to smells, tastes and looks of foods (especially if mixed up), and sometimes loud noise. Can't stand people laughing or being loud resulting in ear blocking and shrieking, but managed fine when we took him to the NIA to see Walking With Dinosaurs.

- He isn't a great sleeper, he needs toys arranged around him in a certain way, his bed tucked in in a certain way, curtains in a certain way and if it's not i can guarentee he'll be shouting me in the night. 

- He likes routine, although i wouldn't say he was rigid. 

- He finds it hard to form friendships and keep them purly because they find his intensity hardwork (will talk without taking a breath), and refuse to play star wars (every day for the past year and onwards). He does find it hard to relate to other people, he does lack empathy and interest in others and finds it hard to listen. The amount of time i have to ask him to do something is unbelievable, and he is extremly impulsive. He has 1 firm friend others don't stick around.

My quandry is whether I go for intervention now or wait and see how it goes.  The teacher has said he does have his obsessions and he does get distracted alot but she has no concerns. The reason i'm dithering is because i do feel that it's boarderline and slightly confusing that he appears to cope at school. I don't know if it's because he loves school because he likes the routine (he gets distressed when it can't go),  or because he's under the radar as there are kids with bigger needs? But I do know that it's a huge strain at home, i don't know how to cope with him sometimes and his behaviour affects the whole house, and at times my relationship with DH.

HELP WHAT DO I DO????!!!!!

  • Hey again

    Lol bless her. Yeah people can be incredibly intolerant (thats the diplomatic way of putting it, i have chosen not to use the swear words lol), it's no fun in public. I keep reading in books that parents with kids who have asd's need thick skins and they aren't flippin wrong. I think i may start building up a dictionary of responses for when people do make ignorant comments Wink. Last week Jack lost it in town and decided to crawl through town on his knees screaming, it's quite funny in hindsight but at the time you want the ground to open up.

    Harriet sounds like a little wirlwind Smile. It all depends on what mood Jack's in if it's a bad day he's a shouter and constantly moaning, but like Harriet he's a taz full of relentless energy. When he's really anxious he has panic attacks and will start hitting himself in the face like he doesn't know what to do with himself. Like you have said theres no stopping him, he hates to be touched and he is incapable of listening at this point so we ride it out. Today he didn't go into full meltdown but we could see he was extremely anxious. He kept his eyes on the floor and was picking his clothes all over and wriggling, he couldn't really listen to what we were saying to him. Luckily we left before it built anymore.

    Thanks for the encouragment xx

  • Hello again

    Sounds strange but Harriet seems to enjoy pain she picks at her scabs till bleeding and sore and also if she falls over and grazes her knees she doesn't cry, she just screams if she thinks people have noticed and are looking at her. What sort of things did Jack do at the doctors? when we see the doctor harriet can't sit still she fires questions at the doctor touches everything lays on the couch raises the doctors chair opens the door and goes to walk out of the room i'm powerless i can't make her stop. In the waiting room the receptionists and patients look at me and make comments such has (oh you've got your hands full love!!!) which really doesn't help lol you can hear people mutter (its a good slap she needs) how dare people say things like that no one ever looks at the bigger picture maybe theres a reason for her behaviour. And well done you for getting the ball rolling good luck xxx

  • Oh and 4littleavengers, don't let the school teachers insentive and ignorant comment affect your confidence. As parents we know our little ones and so we are the best to judge. With my oldest i always knew that something wasn't right, the teachers were useless and the headteacher openly mocked me. We ended up paying for a private diagnoses and he was severley dyslexic. So trust your instincts and don't let anyone make you feel like a neurotic parent xx

  • Hi

    Thanks again for your reply. I have come to conclusion that Jack doesn't suffer as much anxiety at school because he loves the structure and routine of the day. He isn't very well today and he spent all morning crying because i decided to keep him at home, and he's spent the day asking me what they would be doing at school if he were there. Maybe that is the same for your little girl? My partner did comment that he loves school maybe a bit to much lol. Or it could be they are doing their best to conform and behave all day that when they get home they just have to let go? Ive noticed that as he's been made to stay at home he's resorted to having a blue day, as in dressing hiself in blue, finding all his blue cars and lining them up etc, i have a feeling it's to help him feel in control again with the change in his routine.

    I had to take Jack to the doctors today to get some anti'biotics and had more or less decided that i would discuss my concerns with the doctor. Luckily Jack was true to form and started getting anxious while we were there so the GP got a good luck at what he can be like in environments he finds uncomfortable. He really listened and agreed to refer to CAMHS. It is frustrating that it's a long process, but to be honest i'm not suprised. My eldest son is dyslexic and it was a nightmare with him. 

    Another question i am curious to see if anyone else's child is sensitive to pain. Jack only has to be nudged and he is screaming, which is alot with a little toddler around too ????

    Take Care x

  • Hello

    I first went to see th GP with harriet in october last year he was really good with her and very understanding he said it sounded like she was on the autistic spectrum. She didn't get to see the community paediatric doctor till the 8th of feb this year she is thinking aspergers we don't see the doctor again till the end of june its a long process so see your GP asap. I found school a bit of a struggle because shes well behaved at school i was i told her behaviour is down to me and theres no medical problem this really upset me but i'm going to keep going. Good luck. xxx

  • Hi

    Thank you for your reply, your daughter sounds very similar to my Jack,he is a cuff and nail biter to. Was your doctor sympathetic??

    I have decided to make an appointment to see the GP too. I have spoken again to my OH explaining to him why i think it's important not to leave it and unfortunatly it looks like i'm on my own with this one. He does agree that Jack has problems to an extent but i don't think he sees it like i do. I have worked with children and in child development for 16 years and so i can see what the typical 'norms' are, whilst OH doesn't have much to compare it with. He just keeps saying it's just his personality.

    I really wish the the best of luck with Harriet, and perhaps we can keep in touch as we go through the process xxx

  • We are having the same sort of issues with our six year old daughter at school she is well behaved but chews sleeves,fingers,nails and her lips i'm sure its anxiety. When she gets out of the school gates her behaviour changes and she screams shouts and has a massive meltdown. Went to the doctors with her this after school as she struggles with going to the toilet she was awful i had to drag her into the doctors and she just kept screaming and shouting i can't do anything to make it stop it was hell!!! i also feel like im always walking on eggshells. Its days like  today that i know i'm doing the right thing in trying to get a diagnoses. Harriet also struggles with shopping she lays on the floor screaming she is also very impulsive runs off  talks to anyone.

  • Thank you, yes i think you are all right in what you are saying I don't know what i am fannying about for.

    I guess i am scared of being wrong and being thought of as a neurotic monther.  I read a post a few pages back posted by a mum who received appalling treatment whilst trying to get her daughter diagnosed and it really put the collywobbles in me. Saying that I know that this attitude is selfish and my sons needs absolutly have to come first.

    Thanks again x

  • i have to agree with whats already been said ,

    go for it what can it hurt ,if he is diagnosed you hae an answer and he gets the help he needs and if not then no harm done

    i would say dont wait go fro all the help you can get as soon as you can ,

    as said to me it also sounds like he has some issues and they need to be dealt with ,as with most of our kids it is never  rigid thing some are great at home and terrible at school some the other way roud ,some have difficulties in both areas so dont think because he isnt the same everywhere it isnt a problem get things looked at now

     

  • No-one here can tell you for certain that he is or is not autistic; we can only go by what you say. However, from what you write, there does appear to be several Asperger traits, and I think it would be best to get him assessed. That will put your mind at rest, and will help your son massively.

  • Why would you wait?!

    The sooner you get a diagnosis, the sooner you can get him the help and support he needs.

    One doesn't just grow out of being autistic (if he is), so waiting will achieve absolutely nothing.