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How to respond to other parents

NAS77849

hi all, I’m new on here. I have a little boy aged 6 who is a countries of the world enthusiast and a super star. We are having a rocky time with him at school however where he is reacting to other children doing something he does not like such as moving one of his marbles or singing a song too loud by lashing out. This week he poured water on one boy, hit another girl and pushed someone over. The school are responding and working it through but I am struggling with how to deal with the other parents. Indy sent a lovely little video message to the girl he hit saying sorry and I got a reply saying ‘thanks for the message but it ‘has happened too many times now’ and that her daughter has been very upset in school and one of the main reasons is indy. ‘ This was the first I’d heard about it and it side swiped me. I’m wondering how other people deal with this kind of thing. Is it a good idea to maybe share with the other parents some info about autism and why indy might behave in certain ways? 

sorry for the long message. I’m a bit overwhelmed! 

  • As this has happened in school, they need to work out with you how this can best be managed, particularly having a safe place to go to when he can't manage what others are doing. I wonder if they think it would help to have an EHCP. 

    You don't need to justify to other parents, so maybe try to avoid conversations with them. Any comments should be addressed to a teacher, not you. I would avoid him contacting other children out of school to avoid replies like the one received. I had a visit once at home from a parent. I told him it was for school to deal with anything that happened there and emailed school for them to deal with this.

    If you ask school there may be a local group or organisation who could help you and possibly somewhere you can meet up with other parents who understand.

  • This is a tricky one, have the teachers spoken to the other children about his autism? I’m not sure explaining to the parents yourself would probably be as helpful as you think unfortunately because at the end of the day children that age aren’t really mature enough to be understanding enough to let it slide. If he’s hurt them they will still be really upset regardless of any explanation and then the parents are having to deal with their children being scared or upset to get ready and go to school. Some may be understanding and happy to explain to their children but others probably won’t be and see it as an excuse for allowing “bad behaviour” unfortunately and may be quite rude about it. The best thing I would think would be for the teachers to try and provide an environment that is less overwhelming for him. Do they have an area he can go to be away from the other children if he’s getting frustrated?