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My son

NAS77806

Hi all

my son is 10 and he was diagnosed last March with ASD… He can’t cope with getting somewhere so if we plan a day out he worry’s so much about leaving home and getting to the destination it triggers a meltdown but once we are there he is fine it’s almost instant…

My son also can’t deal with decisions this triggers a melt down he is also noise sensitive so wears ear defenders… Obviously he’s getting older and his meltdowns are become more harder to control and defuse … He also doesn’t sleep we are currently in the process of being seen by a private paediatrician to help with his sleep. Once we had his diagnosis from camhs we found there wasn’t much support.

our son is at a main stream school he’s currently in year 5 and the thought of him going to a mainstream secondary school is making me loose sleep. I’m petrified at the thought he doesn’t struggle academically  but he struggles with his emotions and therefore this affects his school work. (He has to wear ear defenders at school as low tones can trigger a meltdown)…I’m just so worried his angry meltdowns are getting so out of control I’m worried for our neighbours when he’s throwing things and worried for his siblings who are all effected… we have weighted blankets for sleep and relaxation we have sensory lights and toys for him to try to relax with we try whispering instead of raised voices we  do long walks we have tried after school clubs and football… we are at a loss with how to control the outbursts during our sons meltdowns…. Does anyone else have a child like this ? How do you cope 

  • So my younger brothers are both autistic. My nine year old brother (also year 5) has frequent meltdowns similar to your son. We have a slightly different situation as we home educate, so we can give him all the time he needs to learn, the short stint (less than a term) that he tried in mainstream school last year (complete disaster) triggered some of the worse uncontrollable meltdowns we have ever seen. He is now behind with his education because of that school he never got anything done, he was sent out to read constantly. There were only 15 children in the school and they couldn’t help his needs. So it was decided that home education was best for him. The way the children would laugh at him broke my heart. I was bullied at secondary school and I wasn’t having meltdowns so your concerns are very valid and I sympathise. You are doing everything right in terms of helping his sensory processing. It could genuinely be that mainstream school is causing him too much anxiety and stress. Maybe the after school clubs might be making him too tired and more irritable???Do you find in the half terms/over summer his meltdowns are any better? If they become less frequent then it might be worth investigating what his school day really looks like and if they are handling the meltdowns correctly at school.

    Also have you looked into therapeutic parenting, it is mostly used by foster parents for children who are fostered but it is a different way of saying things that are designed to deescalate situations. We have a book called the a-z of therapeutic parenting and it is a very interesting read. And by using some (not all as it does cover fostering too) of the ideas it has prevented meltdowns for us. Hope this helps,