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Adult son experiencing difficulties at work

NAS77609

My son is 25 and was diagnosed with autism at 14. He doesn’t really accept the diagnosis and does not disclose it to employers. He has had a succession of jobs which never last more than a few months. He is avhard working and reliable employee but inevitably there will be a breakdown in relationships with his boss and/or colleagues and he will get sacked or walk out. I’m convinced it’s in his interests to disclose his diagnosis so he can get understanding and support in the workplace but he refuses to do do. I’m sure there must be other parents who have had similar experiences and I would really love to hear from anyone who successfully found a way forward. 

Parents

  • As an autistic person myself of the same age as your son i would highly recommend to be extremely cautious at disclosing your autism diagnosis outside of an office job. From experience some of the worse places to disclose your autism diagnosis is a workplace that are male dominated such as Warehouses, Farms, Building sites as they often do not take autism serious and cannot or refuse to make reasonable adjustments.

    The male dominated workplace culture is also horrific, it often leads with relentless cruel jokes that get worse over time and sometimes they take it too far and the autistic person gets physical hurt and traumatised. I am saying this from my own experience.

    In some places i have worked and disclosed my diagnosis i have been accused of faking my autism and even had other co- worker escape goat on me. Saying things such as "it was him because of his autism" when it wasn't and some of the things they escape goat often get me fired or a warning. 

    I have also found that as an autistic individual such as myself in the workplace that i often accidently show people up in the job, often being highly efficient and task motivated which indirectly highlights a problematic coworker not pulling their weight which often leads to me being taking advantage by that co worker to the point of burnout or makes me the target of endless abuse to get rid of me as it threatens the problematic coworkers position in the workplace.

    I have also found that Job centre and employment schemes seem to direct us to inappropriate workplace with high staff turnover. so desperate for workers they will use an autistic person to fill the gap but once they find someone else they manage us out of the workplace. The only time employers like this will keep an autistic person on is if they overwork them to burnout to save them from hiring two people. Hospitality industry is really bad for doing this.  

    Their is very little you can do once the workplace goes sour. It might be time for your son to look into specialising in his specialised subjected and get educated either through education or apprenticeship.

    You could contact your local disability employment advisor and see what they can assist with but they are hit and miss with some advisors being discriminatory and abusive.  

  • in reply to Blue

    Thank you SO VERY MUCH for sharing this! I'm just beginning the research to attempt to help my adult son who has yet to be diagnosed.

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