Other parents with teenage girls

Hi my son has Aspergers and routinely struggles to go to his secondary school which he just started. We saw a psychiatrist privately who advised that we request the school to drop a few subjects and focus on just 6-7 subjects to reduce the stress overload. He explained that as the stress levels increase, mental health deteriorates and sensory issues tend to aggravate. My son's social abilities have been impacted badly. We cannot have visitors at home, if we do he'll hide in his bedroom.

I am not a professional but based on my son's experience I would say that you could - 1) Try reducing the number of GCSEs and stick to the core and couple more aiming for 6-7 instead of 10. 

2) Please keep calling CAMHS every week, and tell them how bad the situation is. CAMHS only give priority to cases where they are suicidal or want to harm others, or have already attempted something causing danger to life. So in essence, you need to portray your case as grave to be seen quickly. Also ask the school to contact CAMHS, for you. It always help when schools put pressure.

3) If you are able to, then you should and see a private psychologist for some CBT. But make sure you choose the right one. There are many out there, but not all are as good.  Also getting a diagnosis helps people to understand that your daughter's problems are real not made up. ( Although you will find many who will not acknowledge the problems that autistic kids face, just because they look and behave normally)

4) Finally please apply for an EHCP which will help you daughter get some support at school, if they school aren't very helpful. She would definite;y need to be given extra time in exams and a separate room if being in a big hall full of students causes anxiety.  It helps greatly with EHCP applications if CAMHS write in their report about the need for EHCP; it helped greatly in my son's case.

I can imagine how stressful all this would be for you especially during GCSEs. Please do look after yourself. xx

Hi my son has Aspergers and routinely struggles to go to his secondary school which he just started. We saw a psychiatrist privately who advised that we request the school to drop a few subjects and focus on just 6-7 subjects to reduce the stress overload. He explained that as the stress levels increase, mental health deteriorates and sensory issues tend to aggravate. My son's social abilities have been impacted badly. We cannot have visitors at home, if we do he'll hide in his bedroom.

I am not a professional but based on my son's experience I would say that you could - 1) Try reducing the number of GCSEs and stick to the core and couple more aiming for 6-7 instead of 10. 

2) Please keep calling CAMHS every week, and tell them how bad the situation is. CAMHS only give priority to cases where they are suicidal or want to harm others, or have already attempted something causing danger to life. So in essence, you need to portray your case as grave to be seen quickly. Also ask the school to contact CAMHS, for you. It always help when schools put pressure.

3) If you are able to, then you should and see a private psychologist for some CBT. But make sure you choose the right one. There are many out there, but not all are as good.  Also getting a diagnosis helps people to understand that your daughter's problems are real not made up. ( Although you will find many who will not acknowledge the problems that autistic kids face, just because they look and behave normally)

4) Finally please apply for an EHCP which will help you daughter get some support at school, if they school aren't very helpful. She would definite;y need to be given extra time in exams and a separate room if being in a big hall full of students causes anxiety.  It helps greatly with EHCP applications if CAMHS write in their report about the need for EHCP; it helped greatly in my son's case.

I can imagine how stressful all this would be for you especially during GCSEs. Please do look after yourself. xx

Hello Nikki,

Thanks for your reply. Strangely I am beginning to realise how "fortunate "(?) we have been. My daughter is no longer in mainstream school,  but attending a centre for children that can't access mainstream education for whatever reason, usually mental or physical health problems.  So her GCSE'S have already been reduced to the bare minimum, ( we are going for quality not quantity!) Things hit rock bottom all of a sudden for us I think, with my daughter having some sort of mental breakdown. So the support we got from her mainstream school was minimal, to say the least. However,  she is happy and doing well at the new centre and they are able to be flexible enough to meet her needs. The support we initially received from CAMHS was excellent.  Although we have now been referred up a tier and ironically left without regular support whilst we are on the waiting list to see a physchiastrist.

I think I have been too accepting of the situation, in the past. Like everyone does I  guess I thought these traits were just part of my daughters personality and as a family we have  adapted to accommodate her, not thinking there was anything else going on, until it all blew up

This is all new to me, so can I ask you about the EHCP. How do I apply for one? I think it would be important to have one in place before she goes to college.  But wasn't sure if she was entitled to one. 

Wishing you and your son all the best. Thank you.