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3 year old son - pre diagnosis. Struggling.

KatyB

Hello

My 3 year old son has had autistic signs from a baby but have been getting a lot more obvious over the last year. 

His preschool and our health visitor are on the same page and we have our referral through and first appointment in May this year.

I am finding all this extremely overwhelming and the reality of a diagnosis is quite hard to digest.

Seeing how he plays and sticks to his rituals aren't an "issue" for me, but the reality that this is not "normal" behavior is quite hard to see.

His biting,hitting and shouting are obviously a hard one to deal with and are not acceptable behavior but these are usually triggered by the routine at preschool (non compliance). He knows what he is doing and is very aware of emotions and making someone feel sad in the result of this behavior but will repeat. This can also be spontaneous (so no obvious trigger spotted).

The preschool are very supportive and are doing everything to help him feel less anxious within his surroundings. 

He was sent home today as the behavior was out of control and nothing helped. So they are going to try a new approach from Monday. 

Like every parent and or carer, I just want to get into his wonderfully weird brain and understand him. 

He is such a creative, strange, loud, loving, funny and kind little boy and all I want is for him to be happy in his little world.

Katy

  • Hi Katy. I am going through the same experience, my daughter is 2 & half years & referral is in for an assessment. My daughter doesn't say any words & has very little understanding. The meltdowns are becoming more difficult & it really does get to much sometimes. I have just joined this site for support as I find I am struggling with it all. 

  • Hi  I can completely understand your struggles, My Son is 3 and has recently been diagnosed, he is non verbal but is always very loud, and he does have violent tendencies which he finds amusing. It can be quite daunting when you’re unable to fully understand what is going on, it takes time to get to grips with what triggers cause which reaction, we have tried all sorts of calming techniques, we have ear defenders for when things are too noisy and there’s too much going on, which we have found works quite well. Also we have recently discovered that sitting our Son on a vibrating cushion helps to calm him down, he will sit there for a good five minutes which is a miracle (he doesn’t sit still at all). Most of the advice we are given is to play alongside and try to get out son to engage with us and join in different activities. 
    I hope some of this could be helpful to you. 

  • Hi , thank you for sharing with the online community. I am sorry to hear that you're struggling with your son's pre diagnosis. 

    You may find it useful to have a look at the following link for further information about diagnosis, the benefits of getting one and some available support: 

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis

    Individuals on the spectrum can often display behaviour that may be challenging. There will generally be a reason for this and it is important to try and understand the trigger for the behaviour when developing strategies. You may like to have a look at the following link for more information on behaviour and strategies: 

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour 

    I hope this helps and that the appointment goes well.

    Best wishes,

    Anna Mod