Resently diagnosed 20 year old daughter with confusing sound sensitivity

Hello, my daughter has been diagnosed with Autism and just before her diagnosis she started sticking her fingers in her ears when there was any kind of noise even talking which I found strange, as she had never done that before, and sometimes she would storm out of a room. After her diagnosis she began to do it more often. What I found strange is that she plays her music very loud, and goes to the cinema. I went with her resently and I had to put paper in my ears to muffle the noise and was surprised that she wasn't bothered at all, yet in my car if my radio is on volume one or two which is like whispering she will close her ears and get annoyed with me. What I want to ask is whether this is possible as we have argued a few times as to how she can pick and choose what volume annoys or bothers her. Her diagnosis is something that took me by surprise as I thought certain behaviours of her could be explained otherwise, and it was something she pursued herself as she felt Autism explained her and how she feels best. Can someone tell me if this how some people may feel. I always thought that there were people who liked the loud noises and the ones who liked the quiet and noise affected them every single time. I am very confused as alot of her traits ( I don't know if that is the word) kind of come and go. She has resently also started twitching her hands while she talks. Which makes me question her diagnosis sometimes and we argue about it.

Parents
  • Thank you so much for all your replies. You have made things so much clearer for me. It has been very difficult for me to understand how she feels. We do have big discussions about everything, however, I found it very hard to find information specific to my daughter, or similar. Most information I could find was generalised, or perhaps I didn't know where to look. I searched for a phone number, so that I could speak to someone but I couldn't find anything so I registered with this site, and I am glad I did. I am being kind but all this started very quickly and at times I thought she was pretending for attention. Anything about sound sensitivity that I could find, from what I understood said that some like quiet and some like noise. I couldn't find anything about people with autism who will listen to their own music loud, or won't be affected by loud music when they feel happy. This is a new journey for her and our whole family. She already has ear plugs and ear phones she uses, and I always tell her before I make noise, like vacuum or put the blender on, and always turn music down or off while we are in the car. I am so glad I asked for help here, and I am very grateful for each of your answers. I am trying to be more understanding, and I feel a weight lifted and relief in knowing that I can always ask for help here. Thank you all again very very much.

  • You will learn that one Autistic person is completely different from another. We are similar, just not the same. Feeling like your daughter is pretending is very familiar. I thought my daughter was acting up sometimes, or making a fuss over something she could previously handle, or was just rude because she could be! But no, it was just differing parts of her nature coming out in new ways. She was younger, then, and we’ve both learnt a lot over the years.

  • Thank you. The more I read about people's experiences and behaviours, my daughter's is making more sense, and I can definitely see how I must have seemed to her with my inability to understand her. As you mentioned, I too, thought she was rude to me and her father, and her siblings, and it was inexcusable at the time. I feel that she was more free at home to express how she truly felt, and not hide it and mask it as she did when in public. Thank you again

Reply
  • Thank you. The more I read about people's experiences and behaviours, my daughter's is making more sense, and I can definitely see how I must have seemed to her with my inability to understand her. As you mentioned, I too, thought she was rude to me and her father, and her siblings, and it was inexcusable at the time. I feel that she was more free at home to express how she truly felt, and not hide it and mask it as she did when in public. Thank you again

Children
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