Covid vaccine, healthcare for those who won't/can't engage, tension within family

Well, tensions are rising wthin our household as we struggle with all our usual stuff but now also a top dressing of Covid concerns too.  We're mostly vaccinated but one of our (adult) sons, who is very withdrawn and reclusive anyway, still isn't and still won't contemplate it.  In a way, that's his autonomous decision and we need to respect that.  However, we all have various, quite serious health problems, and it's likely to lead to increasing tension round here.  It's already tense enough!  

There's also the thought that this isn't actually just a decision specific to the Covid vaccination from our son.  It's part of opting out from all care and services altogether, with an absolute refusal to engage based on previous negative experiences with mental health services and professionals in general.  In effect, his blanket refusal to engage means he has no access to healthcare, nor can i think of anything that would make it accessible (for example, i've offered to get a nurse to come round to see him, if that might make things easier but I'm always met with a blanket refusal).  I did speak to our GP about it and only got an empathic, "Yes, that's really difficult, isn't it?" 

Any ideas on how to navigate our way through such a situation?  I think the blanket refusal is the result of extreme burnout and anxiety but, of course, an adult is entitled to make that decision if they're deemed to have capacity.  It does, however, leave us struggling with the ongoing situation.  And the whole Covid thing isn't helping.   

Parents Reply Children
  • You are brilliant at writing I wish I could write as well as you. Hopefully I will get better in time.

  • I do follow quite a few people and organisations on Youtube and Facebook.  I can find stuff on burnout that deals with it from the first person perspective, but nothing on severe, chronic burnout (akin to what Amitta Shah describes as catatonia in many ways) from the 3rd person perspective - i.e. that of the helper, carer or parent.  

    Kieran Rose's work is about the best, plus, for younger children (if anyone has an interest in this area), Jodie Smitten or The Nurture Programme.  But the general advice seems to be to provide a stable, nurturing environment.  Low arousal, low-no demand, with an open-ended willingness to talk things through without ever imposing anything (espcially if, as we believe, there's a pathological demand avoidance profile).  I simply can't find any more, although there must be other familes that have come through this.