Covid vaccine, healthcare for those who won't/can't engage, tension within family

Well, tensions are rising wthin our household as we struggle with all our usual stuff but now also a top dressing of Covid concerns too.  We're mostly vaccinated but one of our (adult) sons, who is very withdrawn and reclusive anyway, still isn't and still won't contemplate it.  In a way, that's his autonomous decision and we need to respect that.  However, we all have various, quite serious health problems, and it's likely to lead to increasing tension round here.  It's already tense enough!  

There's also the thought that this isn't actually just a decision specific to the Covid vaccination from our son.  It's part of opting out from all care and services altogether, with an absolute refusal to engage based on previous negative experiences with mental health services and professionals in general.  In effect, his blanket refusal to engage means he has no access to healthcare, nor can i think of anything that would make it accessible (for example, i've offered to get a nurse to come round to see him, if that might make things easier but I'm always met with a blanket refusal).  I did speak to our GP about it and only got an empathic, "Yes, that's really difficult, isn't it?" 

Any ideas on how to navigate our way through such a situation?  I think the blanket refusal is the result of extreme burnout and anxiety but, of course, an adult is entitled to make that decision if they're deemed to have capacity.  It does, however, leave us struggling with the ongoing situation.  And the whole Covid thing isn't helping.   

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  • it maybe ok for him to not be vaccinated if he doesnt go out anyway, the only risk of infection would come from people in the household he lives in. very low risk for him depending on how much everyone in the house socialises and goes out.

    but yeah hed probably change his mind if he mixed and went out. i wouldnt bother with vaccine myself but i have job in very busy parcel company now where everyone comes in with corona so i will 100% end up catching it off these guys so i need the vaccine for protection. if i remained in my attic i wouldnt bother with it personally.

  • He's truly a hermit, barely venturing out of his room but with one significant exception - he has a bit of a cola obsession (I think he thinks it clears brain fog and gives him energy) and, he believes, it has to be bought in "fresh" each day, rain or shine.  So he goes to the local store every day and yes, he even went out in Storm Arwen to buy some - it's like a protective ritual, I think, and not negotiable.  So unfortunately any germs in the local store will be coming our way.  And we have lots of medical issues - cardiovascular incl. high blood pressure and angina, asthma, liver and kidney disease.  Disappointed

    NB   He also refuses help if we offer to buy in the cola in our weekly online shop.  :( 

  • i used to be addicted to cola too, the fizz did it, and possibly the sugar and energy and the refreshing coolness which also i guess had a effect that made you need more of it for that constant refreshing feel.

    but in the end i quit it because i feel it was killing me. it gave me very bad acid reflux and i feel it did something to my heart too as my heart started feeling fluttery and weird with it, i felt it would surely kill me if i continued to drink more of it so i quit. it was diet cola though, maybe all that aspartame did it, maybe regular cola would have been better.

  • Yes, I think there's something about the fizz and the caffeine that feels uplifting and clearing to him.  But given his lack of dental hygiene, this is another major area of concern.  

    We went through the same thing with Monster while he was on psychiatric drugs (which didn't work, incidentally) and, at the time, he was still engaging a little and had a couple of ECGs.  The effects of Monster really showed up on the first ECG and then he moved mostly to Cola.  Then my older son moved back in with his own Monster addiction and this opened up our younger son's taste for it too.  I now limit it to 1 can per day but even that worries me.  It's all a mess!    

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  • Yes, I think there's something about the fizz and the caffeine that feels uplifting and clearing to him.  But given his lack of dental hygiene, this is another major area of concern.  

    We went through the same thing with Monster while he was on psychiatric drugs (which didn't work, incidentally) and, at the time, he was still engaging a little and had a couple of ECGs.  The effects of Monster really showed up on the first ECG and then he moved mostly to Cola.  Then my older son moved back in with his own Monster addiction and this opened up our younger son's taste for it too.  I now limit it to 1 can per day but even that worries me.  It's all a mess!    

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