Covid vaccine, healthcare for those who won't/can't engage, tension within family

Well, tensions are rising wthin our household as we struggle with all our usual stuff but now also a top dressing of Covid concerns too.  We're mostly vaccinated but one of our (adult) sons, who is very withdrawn and reclusive anyway, still isn't and still won't contemplate it.  In a way, that's his autonomous decision and we need to respect that.  However, we all have various, quite serious health problems, and it's likely to lead to increasing tension round here.  It's already tense enough!  

There's also the thought that this isn't actually just a decision specific to the Covid vaccination from our son.  It's part of opting out from all care and services altogether, with an absolute refusal to engage based on previous negative experiences with mental health services and professionals in general.  In effect, his blanket refusal to engage means he has no access to healthcare, nor can i think of anything that would make it accessible (for example, i've offered to get a nurse to come round to see him, if that might make things easier but I'm always met with a blanket refusal).  I did speak to our GP about it and only got an empathic, "Yes, that's really difficult, isn't it?" 

Any ideas on how to navigate our way through such a situation?  I think the blanket refusal is the result of extreme burnout and anxiety but, of course, an adult is entitled to make that decision if they're deemed to have capacity.  It does, however, leave us struggling with the ongoing situation.  And the whole Covid thing isn't helping.   

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  • I may well do but at the time I contacted the CCG and PALs and didn't get anywhere.  The CCG just stopped returning my calls in the end. 

    When I went for my own autism assessment, my son's case was also reviewed because of the things I said (although another team in the same organisation had discharged us, they decided that there were possibly some risks) but I wasn't happy with the approach.  On the instructions of my mental health worker, a couple of social workers just turned up at the door to see our son while I was out and he got really angry and turned them away.  It also broke trust with us for a while.  Then the mental health worker got cross with me for not letting them in and I got into a heated exchange with her because I'd talked to another worker about the risks of breaking trust within the family and the need to handle the situation sensitively for a good outcome and this other worker had agreed to cancel any social worker visit pending further discussion.  Unfortunately this second worker (who seemed nice) had then gone on long term sick before cancelling it so it all led to a bit of a mess.  

    Now I feel rather afraid of opening that door again because I really don't want any mental health or social workers insisting on another MH assessment and scaring our son into even greater retreat.  All very difficult unfortunately, in that i'm seeking support for us to support our son, rather than support for him directly (because that just made things worse).