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Son always thinking he knows better.

Lau

I feel really frustrated tonight and feel guilty because I feel frustrated!! 

I managed to get some new games for the house on sale today one being hungry hippos. My Autistic 4 year old and I were playing The game hungry hippos and he loved it so much we were having great fun catching then counting how many balls we had caught. 

My older son also Autistic PDA, heard the fun and wanted to join, it’s rare we can play a game that wee all enjoy so it was really nice for us all to be laughing and playing together. 

My eldest wanted to see how many balls he could fit in the hippos mouth, because he was taking all the balls my youngest was confused and getting angry as he wanted to keep playing and couldn’t as he had no balls. I asked a few times Can you pop the balls in the middle then we can continue with our game but he continued to fill the mouth up held the mouth closed and slammed his hand down on the lever and then he says I think it’s broken now.

Usually I’m pretty easy going and can brush things off but I’m so annoyed at him. 

I said why did you do that, now that blue hippo is broken he said it okay there’s another 3 hippos and there’s only three of us playing. I then went onto say what did you think would happen when you did that? He was starting to become annoyed with me and kept saying there’s 3 hippos left that are working. Then he decided he wanted to play with the yellow hippo that my youngest was playing with but my youngest want to stay his colour this caused more upset then he just stood up and walked out the room saying I’m going to play my ps5 then.

Im left there trying soothe my youngest and with a game that’s broken. 

When I read this over I get it’s only a game and toys can be replaced but these things happen all the time. Such as he will want to try a sweetie that’s new (he hates new things he always eats the same things) and I will say I’m pretty sure you like this sweet better (something I know he likes) then he gets home and try’s the new sweet and hates it then had a melt down and gets so frustrated that he would want to write a letter to the sweet company for making this sweet that tastes disgusting. This happens all the time and on the occasions I refuse to buy the new sweet he will become frustrated with me.

Another example is he was having pancakes at a restaurant for breakfast I said why don’t you dip your pancake into the maple syrup as this is different syrup to the one you usually have. He said no I know I know I’ll like it then pours the syrup all over the pancakes and then said I want new pancakes I don’t like that syrup. He will then sit there in an awful mood that the restaurant has different tasting syrup to the one he has at school (he always makes pancakes with syrup in school with his psa)

What would you have done in the situation with the hungry hippo game? Should I have just lifted the board game up straight away and refused to let him fill the mouth up with balls? Of course if I Did do this it would have been a melt down from both children and id feel guilty for stopping a game on the off chance that it may have got broken?

Am I over reacting? All the changes that come with Christmas are getting to me so maybe I am over reacting? 

Parents

  • You're not overreacting, that was an unreasonable thing for him to do.

    When everyone joins in to play a game, they are all agreeing to play by the same rules. Games are somewhat like a test for real world social interactions, as in, can you get along with everyone else, can you play fairly, do you respect everyone involved in the game. 

    The thing is, right when he tried doing something different, like seeing how many balls can fit in the hippos mouth, was the moment that he stopped playing the game. He was not playing by the same rules, he was not playing with you or his little brother anymore. You kept asking him to throw the balls back into the middle, but he refused, meaning he was not playing by the same rules anymore, and he was not playing fairly, because he was hoarding all the balls and not throwing them back into the middle. And in all games, the number one thing people want most, is fairness, otherwise there's something to complain about. 

    Then he broke something that was not his to break. I mean if it was an accident, then that's just happenstance, but he was purposely pushing the limits of this toy, when this toy was mainly for your younger son to enjoy and play with, and now your younger son is left with a broken toy, and that's not fair to him. Who wants lend a toy out to someone, only for them to hand it back broken (or maybe... 75% still functional?) I would absolutely hate that, because that means they did not show a drop of respect.

    And maybe once he started playing "overfed hippo" instead of "hungry hippo," and when he refused a rule that would equal fair play for everyone (like to throw the balls back into the middle so that the game can continue) is when you could have called for a time out, to ask if the older son still wanted to play "hungry hippo," and that what he is currently doing is not a part of the game play, and tell him to get back on track, and get back into the game. 

    Also, with the food, it's like a double-edged sword, you're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't. The thing is, you're paying for everything, and it's so wasteful and pointless for him to try new sweeties or new maple syrup, because it'll end up in the garbage, which is a waste of food, it's a waste of your money, and it's a waste of your time earning that money. I mean if your son wanted to buy new sweeties or try new foods, he should pay for it with his own money, not yours. I mean if I buy things for people with good intentions, only for them to hate it and throw it into the garbage, it hurts to see such a thing. But it'll be extremely pointless to buy something knowing they will not like it, and knowing it'll end up straight in the garbage. Even if he gets upset at not getting the new sweetie, tell him to buy them on his own. 

  • in reply to Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

    Actually the objective in hungry hungry hippos is to get more balls than everyone else so not giving balls back till the game is over is entirely consistent with the rules.

    the issue is you can’t use your hands. And it’s not normally posable to overfill the hippo with out touching balls with your hands.

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