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Son always thinking he knows better.

Lau

I feel really frustrated tonight and feel guilty because I feel frustrated!! 

I managed to get some new games for the house on sale today one being hungry hippos. My Autistic 4 year old and I were playing The game hungry hippos and he loved it so much we were having great fun catching then counting how many balls we had caught. 

My older son also Autistic PDA, heard the fun and wanted to join, it’s rare we can play a game that wee all enjoy so it was really nice for us all to be laughing and playing together. 

My eldest wanted to see how many balls he could fit in the hippos mouth, because he was taking all the balls my youngest was confused and getting angry as he wanted to keep playing and couldn’t as he had no balls. I asked a few times Can you pop the balls in the middle then we can continue with our game but he continued to fill the mouth up held the mouth closed and slammed his hand down on the lever and then he says I think it’s broken now.

Usually I’m pretty easy going and can brush things off but I’m so annoyed at him. 

I said why did you do that, now that blue hippo is broken he said it okay there’s another 3 hippos and there’s only three of us playing. I then went onto say what did you think would happen when you did that? He was starting to become annoyed with me and kept saying there’s 3 hippos left that are working. Then he decided he wanted to play with the yellow hippo that my youngest was playing with but my youngest want to stay his colour this caused more upset then he just stood up and walked out the room saying I’m going to play my ps5 then.

Im left there trying soothe my youngest and with a game that’s broken. 

When I read this over I get it’s only a game and toys can be replaced but these things happen all the time. Such as he will want to try a sweetie that’s new (he hates new things he always eats the same things) and I will say I’m pretty sure you like this sweet better (something I know he likes) then he gets home and try’s the new sweet and hates it then had a melt down and gets so frustrated that he would want to write a letter to the sweet company for making this sweet that tastes disgusting. This happens all the time and on the occasions I refuse to buy the new sweet he will become frustrated with me.

Another example is he was having pancakes at a restaurant for breakfast I said why don’t you dip your pancake into the maple syrup as this is different syrup to the one you usually have. He said no I know I know I’ll like it then pours the syrup all over the pancakes and then said I want new pancakes I don’t like that syrup. He will then sit there in an awful mood that the restaurant has different tasting syrup to the one he has at school (he always makes pancakes with syrup in school with his psa)

What would you have done in the situation with the hungry hippo game? Should I have just lifted the board game up straight away and refused to let him fill the mouth up with balls? Of course if I Did do this it would have been a melt down from both children and id feel guilty for stopping a game on the off chance that it may have got broken?

Am I over reacting? All the changes that come with Christmas are getting to me so maybe I am over reacting? 

Parents

  • It sound to me like he was a little jealous, and wanted in on the action. But then he took it a step too far. Saying it didn’t matter, as 3 are left is factually correct, but this isn’t what you want to hear. An apology would have been nice!

    You didn’t make a big fuss over it which is the main thing. It means your son didn’t get the reaction he wanted. You didn’t over react, and I really don’t think there’s any specific way to deal with this behaviour, except to remain cool and calm; outwardly at least.

    Nice comments can be a trigger. my daughter was much the same. She was alway ( and still is)  quite avoidant. My son would have been the one to cause trouble for no reason. He isn’t diagnosed, and refuses to believe he could be Autistic.

  • in reply to Catlover

    Hi Catlover thank you for your reply.

    Yes when he heard me and his wee brother laughing and being a bit noisy he came down stairs to see what the fuss was all about so maybe there was a bit of jealousy there. He did join in straight away and played along for a few minutes then I can see something switches in him and he can’t go along with the rules anymore and takes it that step to far and and can’t back down and go along with the correct way to play the game. 

    I know I was absolutely gutted as I  bought the games as the kids will be off school for Christmas holidays soon and we all love games.

    Yes definitely nice praise can be trigger. I usually say something such as I am really proud of you and he will accept me saying that rather than the common praise you would give a child such as you done a great job or your work was excellent. 

    Oh that sounds tricky your son not accepting he’s autistic. At least he has a parent there who has spotted the signs and can be supportive regardless if he ever feels ready to accept his autism. 

  • in reply to Lau

    I’d be willing to bet that switch that flips in his head is boardom. He heard you laughing and hoped you might be doing something fun. Then discovered it was boring. He wanted to join in but with something on his level. So he shifted attention to something he found more interesting than the game, the mechanism itself and its limits.

    Are there any games you could play with him that might be suitable for an older child? Chess maybe?

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  • in reply to Lau

    I’d be willing to bet that switch that flips in his head is boardom. He heard you laughing and hoped you might be doing something fun. Then discovered it was boring. He wanted to join in but with something on his level. So he shifted attention to something he found more interesting than the game, the mechanism itself and its limits.

    Are there any games you could play with him that might be suitable for an older child? Chess maybe?

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