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Autistic Women - Coercive Control

NAS76178

My 20 year old daughter has been in a relationship with a much older man for a few months and it has started to become apparent that his conduct towards her is coercive/controlling.As is normal in these relationships, he is isolating her from her family. All the other red flags are there (financial abuse, checking her Whatsapp messages; lovebombing her etc etc). I'm very scared, and worried about what might happen.

Does anyone have any links to resources or know of other places where I could get help?  Ideally I need something that explains in a careful way to her what a coercive controlling relationship is, as if it's too obvious she'll accuse me of interfering. Of course as it's her first 'big love' she thinks that she has to preserve the relationship at all costs, but she doesn't know what a normal relationship is!

Any thoughts?

Parents

  • You are right to be scared and worried - this is not good situation for anyone, let alone someone with autism.

    There are resources online for coercive/controlling relationships, probably Womens Aid would be a good start but there are others.

    Sadly, autistic people can be targetted by such people, as they can be naive and vulnerable and not realise what is happening is wrong, or abuse.  Autistic people can also be very loyal, even to people that harm them.

    Even if you were able to help her understand what's happening is wrong, its unlikely she could stop the control/abuse, and it might mean things get worse.

    Its best to get advice from experts.

Reply

  • You are right to be scared and worried - this is not good situation for anyone, let alone someone with autism.

    There are resources online for coercive/controlling relationships, probably Womens Aid would be a good start but there are others.

    Sadly, autistic people can be targetted by such people, as they can be naive and vulnerable and not realise what is happening is wrong, or abuse.  Autistic people can also be very loyal, even to people that harm them.

    Even if you were able to help her understand what's happening is wrong, its unlikely she could stop the control/abuse, and it might mean things get worse.

    Its best to get advice from experts.

Children
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