Help!

My son was diagnosed at 2 years old he has just moved into secondary school, specialist provision. He has always had things he gets ocd over, one is time but the one thing recently that is becoming unmanageable is his need to never be wrong. It’s taking over his like, he says about 100 times I day - I didn’t do anything wrong did I? He takes everything out on me and blames me for anything that goes wrong. His meltdowns over the last month are getting worse all the time. Last night his nanny said to him he should say sorry to me (as he was taking out his frustrations on me) and he had the worst meltdown I’ve ever seen. He screamed and cried so much he burst the blood vessels in his face. I’ve reached out now for additional help as I ended up on emergency phone to CAMHS as couldn’t calm him down and I was very scared. I just wondered if anyone might have any advice here for me?
life is becoming very hard for me! I’ve got broad shoulders and although it can be a bit upsetting to be blamed for everything I take it as he is my life. His father chose not to have contact since he was 3 so it’s just me and him.

thank you

Parents

Chloe Mod over 4 years ago

Hello Eddie214,

I'm sorry to hear that you've been having such a difficult time with your son's behaviour. Individuals on the spectrum can often display behaviour that may be challenging. There will generally be a reason for this and it is important to try and understand the trigger for the behaviour when developing strategies. You may like to have a look at the following link for more information on behaviour and strategies:

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour

You may be interested in seeking some professional support regarding the behaviour. You can search for professionals in your area we are aware of on the Autism Services Directory:

https://www.autism.org.uk/directory

You might also like to take a look at The Challenging Behaviour Foundation website for further information and advice:

https://www.challengingbehaviour.org.uk. They also have an information and support service which you can contact by phone or email – details can be found here: https://www.challengingbehaviour.org.uk/for-family-carers/family-support-service/

I hope this helps,

ChloeMod
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Eddie214 over 4 years ago in reply to Chloe Mod

Thank you for your reply, it’s very helpful.

I’ve just ordered a social story book so hopefully that will help.

Part of the problem is that I know all the tools to help as I’ve used many of them over the years. My issue is that anytime I try and manage it it’s a viscous circle as how do you help him understand it’s ok to be wrong when he has such a negative view of being wrong! He then meltdowns if I talk about it as he thinks he’s done something wrong- it’s very difficult.

im also asking for help from SENCO at school

thank you again
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Eddie214 over 4 years ago in reply to Chloe Mod

Thank you for your reply, it’s very helpful.

I’ve just ordered a social story book so hopefully that will help.

Part of the problem is that I know all the tools to help as I’ve used many of them over the years. My issue is that anytime I try and manage it it’s a viscous circle as how do you help him understand it’s ok to be wrong when he has such a negative view of being wrong! He then meltdowns if I talk about it as he thinks he’s done something wrong- it’s very difficult.

im also asking for help from SENCO at school

thank you again
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