• Replies 3 replies
  • Subscribers 68 subscribers
  • Views 666 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Undiagnosed teenager

LOLNAS75896

Hello all, I am the mother of a wonderful 14 year old boy who remains undiagnosed (probably Asperger's)
- because he is not considered 'bad enough'. After years of frustration and fear of not being heard or understood
(on my part as well as my sons!) –  today, with recent struggles upon socialising with his peers, I felt it to be
the right time to start a conversation about differences and how some people maybe wired differently – not mentioning
the 'A' word as yet. I think it went well overall, he felt better after talking - there were tears on both sides, especially when recounting episodes
of bullying and how that made our family feel. It will be a conversation we will continue to have to enable my son to move forward.

If anybody has any nuggets of advice, similar stories or inspirational tales, I would be happy to digest :)

Parents

  • Hi, I recently paid a lot of money that I really can't afford to get a private diagnosis for my 19 year old son. I 'knew' a long time ago that he was autistic but he didn't have any of the big flashing light indicators and it was never picked up at school--I just ended up pulling him out for homeschooling because he was so unhappy there despite being academically able. For various reasons I did not push for a diagnosis until he was in a state of crisis. So I want to first of all say, well done for going with your instincts and for being proactive. I wish I had done more, sooner, and if you start now you can probably accomplish a lot more than you would if you waited until he is older and the differences become even more painful.

    One thing that I found helpful to make the situation less confrontational (I have not always been successful with this) was to watch a lot of YouTube videos made by autistic people about autism and diagnosis, and then I would select ones that I thought he might be open to and send them to him and ask him to have a watch. Usually I would do this at a time when he was being forced to confront his differences anyway. Out of this we were able to establish some dialogue and I finally got him to agree to an assessment. Here's an example of one that we found helpful https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXz9TpKGd5g&list=LL&index=47 but this is a matter of personal choice, of course. 

Reply

  • Hi, I recently paid a lot of money that I really can't afford to get a private diagnosis for my 19 year old son. I 'knew' a long time ago that he was autistic but he didn't have any of the big flashing light indicators and it was never picked up at school--I just ended up pulling him out for homeschooling because he was so unhappy there despite being academically able. For various reasons I did not push for a diagnosis until he was in a state of crisis. So I want to first of all say, well done for going with your instincts and for being proactive. I wish I had done more, sooner, and if you start now you can probably accomplish a lot more than you would if you waited until he is older and the differences become even more painful.

    One thing that I found helpful to make the situation less confrontational (I have not always been successful with this) was to watch a lot of YouTube videos made by autistic people about autism and diagnosis, and then I would select ones that I thought he might be open to and send them to him and ask him to have a watch. Usually I would do this at a time when he was being forced to confront his differences anyway. Out of this we were able to establish some dialogue and I finally got him to agree to an assessment. Here's an example of one that we found helpful https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXz9TpKGd5g&list=LL&index=47 but this is a matter of personal choice, of course. 

Children
No Data