Concerned dad of non verbal child

It’s interesting you’ve mentioned he engaged with music. I know several amazing composers who are autistic. Do you have musical instruments he can play with? Sometimes children’s instruments can de sonically dull or discourage engagement due to their lack of sonic aesthetic when they're cheap.  I might take him to a music store, let him tap on a piano (not an electric one)  a Kalimba, handpan, some ukuleles and a xylophone all have engaging elements and are affordable to start.  Or find a class like this meinlsonicenergy.com/.../sound-therapy-for-kids (sound therapy can sometimes be better than just 'music therapy' because they may be more intensely focused on quality of sonic ambience). But he may appreciate anything musical.

Natural musicians will be able to focus and discipline their craft for 8 unbroken hours. Interruption can be as cruel as assault - worse than pulling the plug on the tele right before the goal or at the climax of a movie. If he can engage in his world in ways that seem as like he wouldn’t "miss you", recollect how affectionate he is and remember that it's his job to attempt to work out how to navigate the world and your job to help, support and think about him. I assume you know this, but it's not a child's duty to think about, let alone worry about their parents. Children who do are usually far behind in development or stunted in careers.

In the natural order of things, animals care for their young, preparing them for a life without them, most never see each other again. With humans, the more selfless a parent is, the more they arrest their ego, their assumptions and whatever they believe they may need from a child, recognise and release those expectations, 99% of these children will, without fail, support, protect and care for their parents in their old age. These children will be loyal and completely trust and respect their parents. I cannot think of anyone I know who's parents were this supportive who do not now have amazing careers and exceptional abilities to navigate life. My job is to help my son deal with a cruel world and offer support however I can. There is something to putting a need to connect to our children into and action which they feel supported or protected or encouraged by - and this could be allowing them to work uninterrupted until bed, not hacking into their flow (regardless of age) but just sneaking a sandwich into their room. For some, they'll need a reminder to use the loo. Give them a time limit for bed and spend time reading them a story. Then invite your mates over if you feel a need to connect.

All children need parents to support how they learn, grow and experience life. They want to feel safe and understood. The autistic brain presents in many incredible ways. Hyper-focus is one of our super-powers, or strengths. There was a brilliant study I read about picture-thinkers, which might help understand why he may have not 'regressed' with words. It could be possible that other elements of intellect are simply becoming more heightened. 

Have a look at these. If they're too clinical, the Abstract gives enough information.It's being recognised autistic individuals use picture-thinking to reason, and experience an articulatory suppression (using words to verbalise/communicate) with heightened reasoning or hyper-speed brain connexions.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4874898/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8297849/#pone.0255039.ref010 

Just remember to focus on his strengths. Teach him to draw, teach him geometry, definitely give him music lessons. Teach him to read. For autistic individuals, we can also be keenly aware of how difficult it is for neurotypical individuals to keep up with our brain wiring. You may feel articulation and expression of emotion are important and I may feel a more better ability to imagine matters of physics is more important. Both are right. And being parents, our job is to always help meet our children's needs, even at the expense of ours. :)

It’s interesting you’ve mentioned he engaged with music. I know several amazing composers who are autistic. Do you have musical instruments he can play with? Sometimes children’s instruments can de sonically dull or discourage engagement due to their lack of sonic aesthetic when they're cheap.  I might take him to a music store, let him tap on a piano (not an electric one)  a Kalimba, handpan, some ukuleles and a xylophone all have engaging elements and are affordable to start.  Or find a class like this meinlsonicenergy.com/.../sound-therapy-for-kids (sound therapy can sometimes be better than just 'music therapy' because they may be more intensely focused on quality of sonic ambience). But he may appreciate anything musical.

Natural musicians will be able to focus and discipline their craft for 8 unbroken hours. Interruption can be as cruel as assault - worse than pulling the plug on the tele right before the goal or at the climax of a movie. If he can engage in his world in ways that seem as like he wouldn’t "miss you", recollect how affectionate he is and remember that it's his job to attempt to work out how to navigate the world and your job to help, support and think about him. I assume you know this, but it's not a child's duty to think about, let alone worry about their parents. Children who do are usually far behind in development or stunted in careers.

In the natural order of things, animals care for their young, preparing them for a life without them, most never see each other again. With humans, the more selfless a parent is, the more they arrest their ego, their assumptions and whatever they believe they may need from a child, recognise and release those expectations, 99% of these children will, without fail, support, protect and care for their parents in their old age. These children will be loyal and completely trust and respect their parents. I cannot think of anyone I know who's parents were this supportive who do not now have amazing careers and exceptional abilities to navigate life. My job is to help my son deal with a cruel world and offer support however I can. There is something to putting a need to connect to our children into and action which they feel supported or protected or encouraged by - and this could be allowing them to work uninterrupted until bed, not hacking into their flow (regardless of age) but just sneaking a sandwich into their room. For some, they'll need a reminder to use the loo. Give them a time limit for bed and spend time reading them a story. Then invite your mates over if you feel a need to connect.

All children need parents to support how they learn, grow and experience life. They want to feel safe and understood. The autistic brain presents in many incredible ways. Hyper-focus is one of our super-powers, or strengths. There was a brilliant study I read about picture-thinkers, which might help understand why he may have not 'regressed' with words. It could be possible that other elements of intellect are simply becoming more heightened. 

Have a look at these. If they're too clinical, the Abstract gives enough information.It's being recognised autistic individuals use picture-thinking to reason, and experience an articulatory suppression (using words to verbalise/communicate) with heightened reasoning or hyper-speed brain connexions.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4874898/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8297849/#pone.0255039.ref010 

Just remember to focus on his strengths. Teach him to draw, teach him geometry, definitely give him music lessons. Teach him to read. For autistic individuals, we can also be keenly aware of how difficult it is for neurotypical individuals to keep up with our brain wiring. You may feel articulation and expression of emotion are important and I may feel a more better ability to imagine matters of physics is more important. Both are right. And being parents, our job is to always help meet our children's needs, even at the expense of ours. :)