Sister of an adult with undiagnosed ASD - feeling desperate

Hi, my brother is in his fifties, not diagnosed but I have long been convinced that he has ASD and he suffers with severe depression and anxiety.  He receives substantial emotional and practical support from me and our mother (in her 80s and in poor health).  He has difficulty managing his anger, frequently shouting and swearing at me and my mother, and often has difficulty eating and is underweight.  He lives alone, having moved twice in the last couple of years (when things go wrong that he can't cope with, he feels his only option is to move) and he is again trying to sell the house he moved into just 5 months ago.  He receives ESA (Employment Support Allowance), and I managed to persuade him to see his GP for the first time last week on the basis that JobCentre Plus will need to see a GP note, and she was very patient and supportive (having been confidentially briefed by me in advance) and spent an hour and a half with him - but he is refusing to engage in anything she suggested (blood tests for nutrition related issues, a further visit to her, a referral to a mental health team professional).  He is due to attend an ATOS medical assessment review tomorrow, which I am due to attend with him, but he has rung my mother this evening shouting at her, saying that he will not attend - he is clearly feeling too distressed to attend.  This is one of those times when I'm feeling at my wits end.  We can't make him attend, but I'm so worried that they might cut his ESA benefit, particularly if he refuses to attend.  Does anyone else face similar challenges with an undiagnosed adult family member?  How do you cope?  Are there strategies that could help him?  He acknowledges how unwell he feels, but attributes it all to external circumstances (being bullied when he was a child, experiencing problems with young people living in his neighbourhood, not being able to sell or buy a house, etc) and feels that the solution is for me or my mother to "sue the government" - and that any medical support, counselling, mental health referral, etc would not help solve his problems.  Any thoughts, comments, etc would be very welcome.  Thank you for reading my post.

Parents
  • As you will soon find the WCA is specifically designed to deny people their lawful benefit and while people blame ATOS-ultimately dwp and ian duncan smith are behind it.

    I know first hand the dwp's efforts to make me homeless and NAS silence is deafening. 

    Unfortunately with the appointment tomorrow there is little time to plan tactics, asking for a recorded assessment would have delayed atos months and is your right. 

    Both advocacy services and citizens advice are overloaded with the fall out of a system even parliment voted defective. 

    At this late stage if you feel your relative is at risk you want to get in touch with duty social worker on call and discuss a Mental Health Assessment. 

    But be aware unless threatening his own safety or that of others they are not liable to act

    Have a look at my self employed thread as it may be a possible alternative if ESA barred as appeals take months.

    If you look at my profile your see the callous behaviour of dwp when someone is verifiably ill and housebound at time of assessment.

    You will see that NAS stand by and that when things go wrong there is no safety net. Thankfully your brother has family looking out for him.

    Several of us have understanding of what can and does happen and can suggest what does and doesn't work.  

Reply
  • As you will soon find the WCA is specifically designed to deny people their lawful benefit and while people blame ATOS-ultimately dwp and ian duncan smith are behind it.

    I know first hand the dwp's efforts to make me homeless and NAS silence is deafening. 

    Unfortunately with the appointment tomorrow there is little time to plan tactics, asking for a recorded assessment would have delayed atos months and is your right. 

    Both advocacy services and citizens advice are overloaded with the fall out of a system even parliment voted defective. 

    At this late stage if you feel your relative is at risk you want to get in touch with duty social worker on call and discuss a Mental Health Assessment. 

    But be aware unless threatening his own safety or that of others they are not liable to act

    Have a look at my self employed thread as it may be a possible alternative if ESA barred as appeals take months.

    If you look at my profile your see the callous behaviour of dwp when someone is verifiably ill and housebound at time of assessment.

    You will see that NAS stand by and that when things go wrong there is no safety net. Thankfully your brother has family looking out for him.

    Several of us have understanding of what can and does happen and can suggest what does and doesn't work.  

Children
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