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Conflict in the family over vaccination

Jenny Butterfly
over 2 years ago

Well, there's already quite a bit of distress and conflict within our family, but the subject of vaccination is set to worsen things.  And I'm not sure how to manage this or even if that'd be advisable or possible.  We're all adults, after all.

That said, one adult son is fully vaccinated and the other (in a chronic "hikiomori" state) isn't, nor is he intending to be.  This makes our older son angry, to the extent he feels that our younger son is a threat to our wellbeing, if not our very lives.  He couches it in terms that are likely to feed into his anger and has also threatened to start destroying our younger son's IT stuff if he doesn't get vaccinated, plus is putting pressure on us to persuade him to get vaccinated asap.  The fact is that we have no power over our younger son and he's making an autonomous decision not to get vaccinated, although, given that he won't engage with anyone, this might not be because he has views about vaccination but rather that he seeks to avoid all contact.  

I'm worried.  The situation seems set to explode and, much as I try to talk things through and defuse the situation, it keeps welling up again.  I'm also feeling resentful at the consequences of their adult decisions being put onto us as parents, in addition to the pressure of various mental health issues, our very late diagnoses and not having anywhere to turn.  

Has anyone successfully negotiated this kind of situation, am I doomed to just wait for things to explode and how can I deal with my own mounting anxiety about my sons? 

Parents
  • over 2 years ago

    I'm thinking that I could really use some professional help with this, and other, issues.  I'm feeling very drained and overwrought, which isn't healthy and doesn't put me in the best position to support my adult sons.   I know.  There isn't any.  Disappointed

    It's becoming clearer today that it's likely to come to blows over this.  Lots of venting and swearing from older son, younger son hidden away in his room unaware until this explodes in his face.  Older son has said that he feels it's making him ill with anxiety and somatic issues and that I need to do something because it's a matter of life and death.  And explaining that younger son is an autonomous adult and I can't make him do anything has simply led to me getting blamed for making them do things in the past.  

    Feeling very stuck.  Where do parents to young adults turn?   

Reply
  • over 2 years ago

    I'm thinking that I could really use some professional help with this, and other, issues.  I'm feeling very drained and overwrought, which isn't healthy and doesn't put me in the best position to support my adult sons.   I know.  There isn't any.  Disappointed

    It's becoming clearer today that it's likely to come to blows over this.  Lots of venting and swearing from older son, younger son hidden away in his room unaware until this explodes in his face.  Older son has said that he feels it's making him ill with anxiety and somatic issues and that I need to do something because it's a matter of life and death.  And explaining that younger son is an autonomous adult and I can't make him do anything has simply led to me getting blamed for making them do things in the past.  

    Feeling very stuck.  Where do parents to young adults turn?   

Children
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