Conflict in the family over vaccination

Well, there's already quite a bit of distress and conflict within our family, but the subject of vaccination is set to worsen things.  And I'm not sure how to manage this or even if that'd be advisable or possible.  We're all adults, after all.

That said, one adult son is fully vaccinated and the other (in a chronic "hikiomori" state) isn't, nor is he intending to be.  This makes our older son angry, to the extent he feels that our younger son is a threat to our wellbeing, if not our very lives.  He couches it in terms that are likely to feed into his anger and has also threatened to start destroying our younger son's IT stuff if he doesn't get vaccinated, plus is putting pressure on us to persuade him to get vaccinated asap.  The fact is that we have no power over our younger son and he's making an autonomous decision not to get vaccinated, although, given that he won't engage with anyone, this might not be because he has views about vaccination but rather that he seeks to avoid all contact.  

I'm worried.  The situation seems set to explode and, much as I try to talk things through and defuse the situation, it keeps welling up again.  I'm also feeling resentful at the consequences of their adult decisions being put onto us as parents, in addition to the pressure of various mental health issues, our very late diagnoses and not having anywhere to turn.  

Has anyone successfully negotiated this kind of situation, am I doomed to just wait for things to explode and how can I deal with my own mounting anxiety about my sons? 

Parents
  • hikiomori Almost by definition never go outside. So the real risk to the rest of the family is quite low. That said does your GP know about your sons extreme seclusion? If the only reason he won’t get vaccinated is the journey it might be posable to persuade a GP to make a home visit. At which point his GP could discuss his issues with him (eg extreme agoraphobia?)

Reply
  • hikiomori Almost by definition never go outside. So the real risk to the rest of the family is quite low. That said does your GP know about your sons extreme seclusion? If the only reason he won’t get vaccinated is the journey it might be posable to persuade a GP to make a home visit. At which point his GP could discuss his issues with him (eg extreme agoraphobia?)

Children
  • +1 for home visit vacination - make sure it's via your GP. There are some scammers about.

    Has the younger son explained why he doesn't want to be vaccinated?

  • Unfortunately he does go to a local shop nearly every day, as he seems to be addicted to Cola (to clear "brain fog") and I tend not to buy too much of it (because I feel as though I'm enabling).  

    Otherwise though, he doesn't go anywhere or relate to anyone.  No courses, no friends, no jobs, nothing.  :(