9 year old autistic daughter and friends

Hi

I have a nine year old recently diagnosed daughter who is painfully aware that she has no friends. At school she has friends who play with her but if they do agree to come for a playdate it's not reciprocated so she has not seen anyone all summer nor did she speak to anyone through lockdown. Her autistic sister does have reciprocal friendships. 

At school her behaviour is apparently good but at home she explodes. She says she sees others going home with each other but she never gets to go anywhere and gets very upset which impacts greatly on her home behaviour. School say there is nothing they can do as she plays with peers at school. 

I am devastated that this is the situation and wonder if moving schools would help but she would have to go on a waiting list and is in year 5 which would mean changing two years in a row when she moves to secondary unless I can persuade the council to keep her in year 4....

I wonder if you have any suggestions. 

Many thanks 

Parents
  • I'm sorry but the answer is probably exposing her to a much larger group of people outside school. If she's very good at masking she may cope well at school but there is a difference between coping and thriving. She needs to find people she doesn't need to mask around. Then it will become reciprocal. But the number of people willing to make friends with your daughter when she's not making an effort to be 'normal' may be so small loking in the school pool alone may be too narrow.

Reply
  • I'm sorry but the answer is probably exposing her to a much larger group of people outside school. If she's very good at masking she may cope well at school but there is a difference between coping and thriving. She needs to find people she doesn't need to mask around. Then it will become reciprocal. But the number of people willing to make friends with your daughter when she's not making an effort to be 'normal' may be so small loking in the school pool alone may be too narrow.

Children
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