Hi everyone. Our worst nightmare happened again but this time it escalated and we don't know what to do. Basically you have to understand our whole life to fully understand but I will try my best to describe this. I am crying while typing this.
Yesterday, our 15 year old daughter went out for a walk, with our permission, and I told her she has 1 hour. She loves exploring and she called me an hour later (2:00) saying she has forgotten about the time and will be back shortly. We had some work mates over for the afternoon and she was excited to see them and she also had to see her dad today, which she didn't want to do. We then got a phone call around 3:30pm saying she was on her way home and I believed her because she is more than capable to get herself home so we all had a drink.
Later on in the afternoon we were getting worried so we tried calling her but it went straight to voicemail. Around the same time, I got a phone call from the police, saying that they were called by a pub miles away saying that my daughter was over there being looked after my some campers outside the pub. I explained to the police that she can get herself home but they offered to give her a lift so they did. They dropped her off at our local park and she called me saying she'll be home shortly as she's at the park 2 minutes away. She didn't come home. She walked another hour in the dark through the forest back to the pub to the campers where police were called again and took her home. This is where it escalates and it is my fault.
She was trying to walk away from the house when they pulled up outside so they grabbed her arms and forced her to the front door. I was in bed looking after my other children who were worried but are used to it now, unfortunately. My husband was on his bike on his way home after meeting the police with our daughter. We got her into the house but she took off through the gate and just ran. She was half way down the road by the time police could get out the door. They then handcuffed her where she then kicked the officer and was arrested but later on was de arrested and was placed into the back of the police van and taken into the station while they called social services because she had no where to stay the night. This is when they said her dad's is the safest option so they transported her to her father's.
So as you can imagine, we are all struggling again and it actually happened the exact time last year. She struggles with the summer holidays. It's just too long. She is really tired because she arrived at her dad's at 3:30 am yesterday. She was out for 7 hours without food and drink and she was cold and she was just loving life, exploring and chilling with campers who fed her and looked after her. I know this makes us sound like really bad parents but you have to be in our situation to understand. It also didn't help that she was experiencing sensory overload yesterday with cars driving past, bright lights, handcuffs, being searched and touched and held, she was pinned to the floor and her body is aching today. She was also kicking the cage door in the police van because it kept banging and making loud noises but they kept shouting telling her to stop. They knew she was on the spectrum and did do their best and kept the lights low and physical touch to the minimum but they had to use handcuffs for everyone's safety. I am really upset that it ended like this and I do blame myself and she blames herself and she is just absolutely exhausted, mentally and emotionally. I don't know what to do now. She's going to be taken off me soon for this. Summer holidays are the worst. She just scarred for life now. She remembers every police encounter she has had and she will never forget them. What do I do? I hate all this. We are such bad parents.
I'm sorry for going on but I got no one to talk to anymore.