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Potential diagnosis and support needed

NAS74470

Hi, I am a parent of a 13 year old girl and am awaiting an autism assessment via CAMHS, so it may be some time. In the meantime she is totally amazing but is struggling to wash herself and refuses to wash her clothes, and won’t let me do it. All of this causes her distress and I really don’t know how to handle it. For example I washed her bedsheet and now she refuses to have a sheet on her bed.I have tried not applying any pressure but this means she has been wearing the same (really filthy) clothes for days. I don’t know what to do. She sees a private counsellor which has helped her to make some sense of her world, but I do really struggle with the hygiene stuff. Any advice or support would be so helpful. She hates new clothes too and is growing out of a lot of things. Will she learn to manage these things better as she matures?

Parents

  • It is probably a sensory thing. As a child I didn't like brushing my teeth because the toothpaste was unpleasant to me, due to its strong taste. Newly washed clothes tend to feel  harsher than soft well-worn clothes, and they can smell quite strongly, as detergents are often perfumed. Your daughter could be reacting to skin discomfort and/or discomfort caused by strong smells. Autistic people often are hypersensitive (or sometimes hyposensitive) to sensory stimulation. Try using detergents with minimal or no scent and use fabric softener with as little scent as possible. Tumble drying can make clothes feel softer and the heat can dissipate scents, also don't iron things as ironing tends give clothing uncomfortable angles and make fabrics less soft.

    For bedding I always favoured flannelette, as it is very soft.

    Growing out of - possibly not, autism is not a phase, sensory problems will tend to be long term. I still buy clothing on fabric feel and if I find a comfortable item I will buy multiples, sometimes in the same colour and I'm 60 years of age. However, peer-pressure may help with hygiene issues, it depends on whether appearances outweigh becoming less comfortable, they often do, especially with teenagers. 

    For new clothes, cut out any labels, especially at the back of the neck. Certainly for me, clothing labels are unbearably uncomfortable.

  • in reply to Martin

    Thank you. She definitely doesn’t like the feel of washed clothes and says she is scared of them being washed.

Reply Children
  • in reply to NAS74470

    A common problem with autistic people is that we often lack 'interoception', which means we often do not know how we feel, sometimes as basic as not recognising when we are thirsty. This means that your daughter might not be able to tell you what part or parts of washed clothing she finds unpleasant. However, it is probably worth asking anyway.