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Potential diagnosis and support needed

NAS74470

Hi, I am a parent of a 13 year old girl and am awaiting an autism assessment via CAMHS, so it may be some time. In the meantime she is totally amazing but is struggling to wash herself and refuses to wash her clothes, and won’t let me do it. All of this causes her distress and I really don’t know how to handle it. For example I washed her bedsheet and now she refuses to have a sheet on her bed.I have tried not applying any pressure but this means she has been wearing the same (really filthy) clothes for days. I don’t know what to do. She sees a private counsellor which has helped her to make some sense of her world, but I do really struggle with the hygiene stuff. Any advice or support would be so helpful. She hates new clothes too and is growing out of a lot of things. Will she learn to manage these things better as she matures?

Parents

  • I agree with what Martin wrote. I'm the same with clothes and bedding. I hate creases on clothing so much, you can't even imagine!

    Has your daughter always been like this? Or is this something new? Has anything changed lately? Even if it's something minor. 

    I for example grew up with my grandmother who used to wash me in a basin. When I moved in with my adopted family, apparently I said I wouldn't go into their tub, adding "I'm not going into that pond! I'll drown." I was genuinely scared. I only got in when the water was below my waist while sitting in the tub. 

    I don't want to discourage you but I did occasionally not want to wash my hair in my teens when I was stressed and sometimes I just forgot to do it.  

    This is a long shot, but have you tried playing with her with soap bubbles in the bathroom sink? Not bubbles from one of those little bottles, in the sink. Maybe she'll like them. She can try and play with bubbles and splash a bit of water? Get her a bit more comfortable with water and soap again. Maybe move the fun to the bathtub at some point if she looks ok? Dunno. I always liked bubbles. 

    Hope you can figure it out!

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  • I agree with what Martin wrote. I'm the same with clothes and bedding. I hate creases on clothing so much, you can't even imagine!

    Has your daughter always been like this? Or is this something new? Has anything changed lately? Even if it's something minor. 

    I for example grew up with my grandmother who used to wash me in a basin. When I moved in with my adopted family, apparently I said I wouldn't go into their tub, adding "I'm not going into that pond! I'll drown." I was genuinely scared. I only got in when the water was below my waist while sitting in the tub. 

    I don't want to discourage you but I did occasionally not want to wash my hair in my teens when I was stressed and sometimes I just forgot to do it.  

    This is a long shot, but have you tried playing with her with soap bubbles in the bathroom sink? Not bubbles from one of those little bottles, in the sink. Maybe she'll like them. She can try and play with bubbles and splash a bit of water? Get her a bit more comfortable with water and soap again. Maybe move the fun to the bathtub at some point if she looks ok? Dunno. I always liked bubbles. 

    Hope you can figure it out!

Children
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