Hello, I have joined today although it may seem rather late as my child was diagnosed as high functioning at the age of 8 and they are now 18. I use the pronoun they. They were born male but since about 18 months ago identify as a woman. So from now onwards I will talk about my daughter. She has had quite a journey throughout childhood and adolescence. Although there were challenges on the way she was always able to adjust to the rules of life. I was a stay at home mother during the early years which I think helped a lot. The primary school teachers were also very helpful. My daughter never had any issues academically, on the contrary, science being her special interest, she did very well in all sciences and math. Her language has always been mature, she is has produced some good writing throughout the school years. She is currently waiting for A level results and is due to start university in the Autumn.
As my daughter passed the 18th birthday I have been reminiscing on her journey through life so far. I think the stages can be roughly specified as follows:
Primary school - being different, in her own world, extreme interest in science and facts, able to memorize and repeat, one track mind, unable to have conversation. One friend also on the spectrum. For me as a parent it was almost exciting - is she autistic or exceptionally gifted or both?
Secondary school - adjusting to new environment not easy. First signs of depression, resistance to accept the help offered. Continued academic excellence by default but no interest to pursue anything diligently. Brilliant GCSC results. A small group of friends at school but rare meetups outside school. By now I was working and not around to spot any signs or be able to help.
Sixth form - started well but then Covid came. All the time spent in her room on online lessons which she loved. Preference to identify as a woman first communicated openly. Perhaps the time away from the peers helped crystalize these thoughts, perhaps this was one of the reasons for depression? Depression continued, I persuaded her to start counselling sessions which she did but stopped half way through as in her own words there was nothing to talk about.
Now - my daughter is on one hand extremely intelligent academically and on the other hand totally immature. I think she is not interested in finding a partner and building a relationship but she is interested to have sex. For her it is a matter of fact, she is 18 so can do what she wants now. She has met someone on an online forum who is also just after sex. She told me that she wanted to meet this person to f..k. Exactly these words! She has done the due diligence - she talked to this person about the type of sex they wanted to try. Apart from this she knows nothing about them. In her mind it is logical - she just wants to have sex.
Apologies if this topic is inappropriate for this forum but you can imagine how worried this made me feel. Maybe I should feel happy that she told me about her plan, at least I could speak to her about the potential dangers. But she might still go and meet this person, it might be OK but what if...? The fact is she is an adult now and wants to claim her independence but I so worry about her. Can anyone relate?
