Is it Aspergers?

I am looking for some advice re my 20 year old twin sons.  They suffer with anxiety which since finishing college at 18 has resulted in them spending their lives in their bedroom on their computers only going out with myself or my husband when forced.  They are up all night going to bed at 5 or 6 am regularly.  Unfortunately due to space they share a room so even if I get them into bed, light out etc they just talk all night.  Desperate measures last night saw us putting a curtain up between them but they were up until about 6am I think partly because we changed their routine which I know upset them. 

Basically their routine is get up about 3/4 pm, get washed, dressed, go to the toilet, eat breakfast.  Sometimes they are just about ready when my husband gets home from work at 6 pm.  Straight on their computers only coming out for food, drink or toilet.  They are Dr Who and lego mad displaying it all in display cabinets and watching old episodes of Dr Who, self taught playing the keyboard and that is basically their life.  They tend to have the same routines, don't like things to change nor the way they do things and if I say today we are going out they can't cope with it, they cannot have things sprung upon them they need notice.  They have no desire to go out or interact with family or friends who visit and when they do they hide away.  | suspect they have Aspergers and have tried to discuss it with them but they say they haven't and actually get quite angry at the suggestion.  One of them believes he has inattentive adhd as he says that is why they don't go to bed early as they get distracted, but when they want to remember something e,g, an auction finishing for lego or a Dr Who episode they set reminders on their phones.   The other twin just thinks it is social anxiety..  We have been to the doctors twice but in a short 10 minute appointment it is very difficult to get the issues across and the second appointment she said discipline.  We have tried moving their computers out of their bedroom, didn't work as they felt everyone was looking at what they were looking at so stayed up all night to be on their computers on their own.

 Has anybody got any experience of this type of behaviour, how we get the best help possible for them?   Where do we go from here? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.  We have considered counselling, private diagnosis for Aspergers but just can't afford to do it as everything is x 2. 

Parents
  • I don't think so, the communications angle's good. A normal bloke can't cope with my full mindset, they implode, glaze over, before I've even done the intro. Your two sound like normal teenagers. Is there any history in the family?

    Discipline's not a word in their educational vocabulary, so camouflage it. Tell them to get a job, any job, to pay for their hobbies. Exposure to the real world sorts them, most likely.

  • If only it was that easy, they are frightened of people and everything outside the home and covid has made it worse.  If I am expecting a delivery I say you can answer it I'm right here ..... the doorbell goes and they run or quickly dash in the toilet and say they need the loo.  They are not lazy just very immature, childlike, scared of everything and unable to make any decisions for themselves even down to what flavour sachet to feed the cat on.  One of the twins says very little and really only talks to his twin and me not his dad or other brother and the other one who does talk takes hours to do anything.

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  • If only it was that easy, they are frightened of people and everything outside the home and covid has made it worse.  If I am expecting a delivery I say you can answer it I'm right here ..... the doorbell goes and they run or quickly dash in the toilet and say they need the loo.  They are not lazy just very immature, childlike, scared of everything and unable to make any decisions for themselves even down to what flavour sachet to feed the cat on.  One of the twins says very little and really only talks to his twin and me not his dad or other brother and the other one who does talk takes hours to do anything.

Children
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