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Running off and bolting

ParentingAutism

Hi, we are constantly worrying about our daughter. She is a wanderer and she is just unpredictable. One minute she's in the house, the next she is gone. We are constantly having to watch her. She will leave if she is upset, bored or angry about something so we know how to prevent this from happening but at the same time she wanders when she is happy. Summer is the worst, it is just unpredictable. At the moment she is very restless and won't sit still. She loves exploring so we try taking her out to explore places and we have all the time in the holidays. 

But today, in particular, we took her to the pub and there was a band playing, which was quiet and she loved it but she kept leaving the table and walked through the garden to the car park many times. Luckily we could see her at all times and I knew she wouldn't exactly leave without telling us. But, when we were getting ready to go, no one realised she was already down the road but waited at the pub for us and stayed on the path luckily, same on the way back home. 

We are getting worried because like I said, the summer is the worse time of all. With school finishing next week, we are just on edge, especially because last year, she was leaving the house and places and there was a lot of police involvement and in the end she nearly got taken away and put into care. We now have her location on her phone tracking her but what if she leaves her phone. She's done it many times, she has even left her shoes at home when doing a runner. It's very worrying. How can I do my best to keep her safe? We are getting prepared but she stays in her bedroom while we are in the garden so unless someone is by the front door, she can leave. 

  • in reply to ParentingAutism

    There is something I just remembered which confuses me. Basically she will run at school and at home but when she sees her dad, she has never ever left the house without permission. She tends to stay in the house unless they go for a dog walk, where she will walk with them with no issue. It's confusing because she doesn't like going to her dad's for whatever reason. We are trying to figure it out but it's so confusing. Why doesn't she run there? She lived with him last year for a few months and even on a bad day, she did not run or step a foot out the house. Its strange the way I see it. 

  • in reply to moon

    Thanks for that idea but I know she will just not want to wear one unfortunately. We have put rules in place if she wanders, for example, not to go to the forest at all because she has put herself in danger before. There is water and she will just explore and get lost. She is drawn to water but she hates it at the same time because of sensory issues. And the trees, she loves to climb and what if she falls. So she doesn't go near the forest but does a little loop and come back luckily. 

  • in reply to Lau

    Luckily, she is no longer in a mainstream school but in a small school which specialises in autism so teachers understand everything better but they are still getting to know my daughter so they don't really know what to do when she leaves but keep her safe, which usually ends up restraining her because she runs from them and she's quick, or walks in the traffic. Unfortunately, we don't live round the corner and I'm always a while away from her while when I'm working. Using a sign may help at home. I will try that but it probably won't work in school.

    School is the biggest issue. She has come close to being hit by cars and she once dangled over a bridge over the motorway but luckily teachers were there in time. Like I said, she will walk in traffic and the school is down the road from a railway line and a motorway. I don't want to know what will happen. It's very hard since she's not in my hands in school and she won't want to come home from school and will usually run at the end of the day, which is what happened Friday. 

  • in reply to ParentingAutism

    All sorts of GPS trackers available nowadays - some are like a smart watch that need a special key to remove from the childs wrist. Google "gps tracker for kids".

  • in reply to ParentingAutism

    You must be so worried it’s tricky to find the correct solution. My son also does the same if he’s having a tough day in school he will run to a fire exit and then run home thankfully we live round the corner from the school and he doesn’t have to cross any roads. His Support assistant and head teacher follow after him. He loves being at home with me where he feels safe and no demands. There’s times when my son has climbed the school wall and climbed up onto the roof. Fire brigade and police were called, The school try there best but mainstream schools are un equipment to provide the right environment (that’s another story and battle I’m having with education board) Its difficult when your daughter is running even when happy. Would putting a Large A4 card on the door with a stop do not open sign on the door help? Trying to think of basic safety signs. 

  • in reply to ParentingAutism

    Just wondering if anyone has any ideas how to keep her safe as best as I can? Thanks 

  • in reply to Lau

    Yes, we try our best with the door and Windows but in this heat the Windows just need to be open but we chill outside and leave all windows locked but the children's bedrooms because they don't open far at all and you would have to be absolutely skinny to get out. We use fans to cool us down instead. Thanks for those ideas. We try our best.  

    Luckily she hasn't run for a while, it's just been an issue in school but now slightly at home. My biggest issue is school because I don't know where she will run to and she is a quick runner and can easily out run the teachers. It's worrying because the school is near a motorway and train tracks. The school is defined by a fence and doors are locked but she will just jump the gate. Like I said, it's worrying. 

  • My eldest child is 11 bit younger than your child, his diagnosis is ASC with a PDA profile he goes through periods when his response to feeling not listened too is to run from the situation. Then months go by and he doesn’t run thankfully. I have locks on all of my windows and front and rear door to the house and I keep the keys in my pocket at all times when we go through these periods to keep him safe. My son has a dark tent which he loves to take himself away in there with his iPad and he loves to bounce on the trampoline which really calms him and he feels great when he’s bouncing and afterwards. It’s great way to get rid of the extra energy he has at times.

    I would take steps to make sure your doors and windows are locked and only you have access to the keys. To prevent your child from leaving the house without you knowing.