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Daughter wants to quit school

ParentingAutism

Hi again. 

My 15 y.o wants to quit school. She has been settling into a new school, which she been in for 4 weeks now. They are trying to get to know her and for her to know the staff and students. She has had a good day today so I'm really proud of her but she is losing it with the school. She doesn't feel part of it and thinks the teachers don't really care. 

Basically, tomorrow they have a sports day in the afternoon but the school won't let my daughter do it because she is a risk for running off because she did last time she went offsite. School said she can go to school in the morning but she said that this will be the last day she goes in because she's fed-up. I was on the phone to the school earlier today about it to address her concerns. My daughter told the teacher on the phone that everyone has legs and can just run off whenever so why can't she go. She's annoyed because she can go to school in the morning but not the afternoon due to the risk of running. This is just messing with her brain because Thursday is a school day so she wants to do her normal day which she can't do. 

The school said that it's a safety risk if she goes offsite because she locks teachers out of her room and the corridors and wanders the corridor and refuses lessons and working with staff. Today, she did really well because she didn't wander as much. Maybe for 15 minutes altogether because she was bored of having the same staff and needed a change. Her staff were different today because someone wasn't in. She had the same 2 members of staff all day which can be a bit too boring all day. She did really well but she's not happy because of tomorrow and is reluctant to go back to school Friday and want to say goodbye to the school because they are messing with her head and many schools have done this so she's getting fed-up even quicker. We've always had issues with school to the point where know she wants to give up and doesn't care because she's not fully understood. She is in a school which specializes in autism so she is not very happy because the teachers should know what to do but they are still figuring her out. 

I don't know what to do anymore. I need to work to earn money and I can't keep having the school phoning me telling me to pick her up or if she can come home. Tomorrow, I have to work and I can't keep letting people down. She's not happy having the day off and staying at home or coming to work with me. School is just annoying a bit as well now. What the flip do I do? 

Parents

  • Considering that she enjoys wondering or running off somewhere, and does not like to be at home, does she have any time during the week where someone can just take her to wonder around the city, to go on a walk to the beach, or go on a hike somewhere? Just as a change in scenery. Because she seems restless. It seems like she's only either at home, school, or at her dad's place, and only during school does she even get the chance to wonder around the corridors to have a change in scenery, which just seems kind of sad, and the school is beginning to restrict her wondering around and things like that. Maybe if she gets more physical activity by having time to walk outside somewhere, it might lessen the restlessness she seems to have. 

  • in reply to Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

    She does leave the house from time to time to go to the park or to have a walk but she doesn't like going out unless she really wants to. She has stopped going on her bike and going places because of school because she is exhausted after. We are going to do days out in the summer holidays to break the weeks up. I'm letting her walk the dog tomorrow whilst I'm working. Her last senco said there is some ADHD in her but I don't know whether to believe this or not. Yes, the school is very restricted and there is no where to wonder but she will usually just wonder at home. Brushing her teeth walking round the house, going up and down the stairs but she definitely needs to get out but school days wont let us because I have 3 children to look after, pick up and make dinner for. And weekends we are just so busy doing something. Thanks. Sometimes I just need someone to comment so I can see their point on view which can be extremely helpful. 

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  • in reply to Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

    She does leave the house from time to time to go to the park or to have a walk but she doesn't like going out unless she really wants to. She has stopped going on her bike and going places because of school because she is exhausted after. We are going to do days out in the summer holidays to break the weeks up. I'm letting her walk the dog tomorrow whilst I'm working. Her last senco said there is some ADHD in her but I don't know whether to believe this or not. Yes, the school is very restricted and there is no where to wonder but she will usually just wonder at home. Brushing her teeth walking round the house, going up and down the stairs but she definitely needs to get out but school days wont let us because I have 3 children to look after, pick up and make dinner for. And weekends we are just so busy doing something. Thanks. Sometimes I just need someone to comment so I can see their point on view which can be extremely helpful. 

Children
  • in reply to Desmond79

    She does have hobbies but just isn't in the right mood to peruse them. Well yesterday she got very angry and upset and left the house and came back later after calming down. I have explained to her that I am not happy with the school but I understand their reasons and that I have her back.

    To be honest, I'm not sure what the best way to communicate with her is. In school they use some visuals with her so she understands better but at home she doesn't really but I may use them while the change of routine and everything is going on. I'm not quite sure how to go about it all. Like I said everything is changing and she does not react well with change, especially with school. 

  • in reply to ParentingAutism

    The School she's in sounds very much like a Gulag for kids; at least to me. For a Teenage Girl, that would exacerbate her angst.

    Stress is a major factor. Too much burden for a little girl. Is there any way you may communicate with her? I spent my time wandering about, procrastinating, at that age myself. Like her, I didn't seem to have much direction then. She obviously needs a hobby.