• Replies 3 replies
  • Subscribers 65 subscribers
  • Views 708 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Where do we stand now?

HappyDays

 Due to major emotional distress caused by schooling and the fear that my childrens emotional wellbeing is far from being safeguarded i have found myself keeping my children  home,  The difficulties we have faced have been ongoing for some time and i have lost count of the amount of times i have tried to sort things out with school only to be completley disregarded by them.

 

The stress has become so great that my children now refuse school and have real issues surrounding it.

As i have found myself in this position the schools have offered after completley ignoring me for so long, to sort of cater for this. however the help they are now offering up has come much too late as the damage in regards to their trust and being comfortable in that environment is already done, my eldest particularly looks as though she will miss out on exams due to her refusal to complete coursework which must be done in school so i have to now find an alternative or she will not gain qualifications in these areas, this means more expense.

My youngest daughters school( a special school) has offered for her to do a partial timetable and for staff to work with her outside school, completley useless as we have a major meldown now at the thought of having anything to do with school due to being humiliated, disegarded, and emotionally tormented by staff there.

I am aware that schools have to cater for school refusers but will that stretch to just input of financial help and allowing the parent to make educational decisions with that help. as this time the education situation we have found ourselves in has not actually been elective more forced upon me by the schools failings. To cater for my child needs now means that the school needs to be removed from the equation altogether due to the distress this causes.

Where i live the authority is useless at catering for high functioning autism the choice is either mainstream and all of the emotionall stress and ignorant teaching staff that comes with it which in our case has just been too much or special school which quite frankly has also been useless and was rather ignorant to my childs needs. Autism specific schools in my area are saved for low functioning Autism.

we are desperate for schools which will aknowledge the needs of high functioning autism, the fact that the educational ability is there but there are other needs which must be addressed for the emotional wellbeing of the child.

does anyone know where i stand with this one?

 

  • The St.John's Wort has stopped him from having panic attacks, which were getting more frequent. Our doctor also taught him to walk away from an exam question or piece of work that he couldn't face straight away - just break the cycle, if that helps, by walking around the desk or going to the loo. I can't think what to say to help you now, but you may find that your children want to have another go at school later on. I would like to try for a third year in the sixth form, but have no idea if great-uncle is willing to pay for another year. My son would quite like to stay on because then he could perhaps find a friend in another yeargroup. He is desperate to make a proper friend, my heart bleeds for him. When you have a child who is unlike the mainstream lot, you feel battered on their behalf from all sides. We didn't put him in a mainstream school here when we moved because the Head told us that he would need another assessment, and the waiting list in our area is TWO YEARS!!! It cost us £500 just to be told what we knew already, and then the advice was ignored. Schools can't be bothered, and special schools are overworked and undertrained because the area of knowledge required to suit each child is just so vast.

  • thanks for your reply,

    im sorry to hear that your son is also upset at the moment. My trust in the schools is now non existent, i doubt now that anyone could voluntarily have me place my children back in their care. recently i requested school records and have been horrified to find that the records from both schools have been altered to make the schools look much better and  appear to have done more than they actually have. They also make  my children and me look like monsters. Thank goodness i have kept all actuall correspondance, and have proof that i was elsewhere when i was supposedly in meetings with school with people ive never seen before. Other Families who have experienced similar things from the school have also started to come forward, hopefully now the school will be exposed for what it is.

    i read the sen code of practice and neither school have adhered to it.

    Upon speaking with a solicitor it would appear that there are multiple ways the schools have acted very badly and failed my children so i have now instructed a solicitor as i feel it is the only way  to recieve any kind of justice and make those who are failing children accountable.

    thanks for the st johns wort tip.

    BW

  • I have only just joined, and am rather worried about the lack of responses to this one! The answer I was given is that most high-functioners are able to cope with main-stream schooling,and that really as long as they can be kept in school until they are 16, after that, tough, it's up to you. We are very lucky, my son is at a private school paid for by a wealthy great-uncle. Without that, God only knows how we would have coped - but he is barely coping now, even so, with his 'A'levels. the stress of his short-term memory problems, hois peers arranging farewell gatherings and he has finally noticed that he is not being included in any of them - finally his teen problems have come to roost at the same time as his not being able to remember to do his homeworks and revision and when to hand in any work.

     

    We paid a fortune to have him assessed, but even though the majority of the staff have bent over backwards to help him, there are still a few who refuse to help him at all, saying that it is no preparation for the life to come, and that he has to learn to help himself. They are right. I have had to accept that my son may well leave home again and again, only to find that he cannot cope and has to return. He may well forget to go to his exams at all, it has happened in the past. I did read elsewhere on here that it is not uncommon for children to have to repeat the third year of school, that may be an option - as long as you can get them there in the first place. My son is pretty good about going in, and I swear that this is only possible because he has already forgotten what a shitty day he had yesterday... We do know people who have a guideline to what their children should be learning, and get in a tutor once a week to help out. My husband does a bit of maths tutoring and will have to spend this Easter helping our own son. We have discovered over the years that our son learns better on his own at home, but that he misses the company and life that goes on at school - orchestra and drama would be hugely missed, as well as sports, but never team games. I do so feel for you, I am really struggling with him this year. I haven't had much sleep and I bet you haven't either. I think he has cried three times in the past week alone, something he rarely does. The St.John's Wort has helped, the school has wanted to put him on something stronger in the past but he has refused.