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Friend, Unforgiveness and the Past.

JackOSullivan007

I know life is meant to be great, we live to fight another day. Well today I had the worst English Lesson of my life.

Where to begin. My Brilliant and kind Teacher was not in and is not in for two weeks. We had a Supply at College and my Class were messing about. I tic (Tourettes) and the Teacher says "Are you taking the micky in out of me?". So than my Aspergers kicks in and I go slient for the whole entire lesson. I mean what the hell. When People see me being different there always has to be a accusation at the begining. So lesson ended, she said sorry (at the wrong time).

I get the bus with my Friend, she is a Girl (Not my Best Friend just friend). I find it hard to forgive. Right so I hold it against the Teacher and my Friend says "You act like a Child". What the hell? She stuck up for me at times and she says because of my non forgiven. She calls me a Child. Just because I have not forgiven the other Teacher from 2012 who broke confidental Information about me to my Friend.

What is my life coming too. Please let me know how I can calm down from this.

Jack.

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  • I am really sorry to hear you had a bad day.  It isn't always easy to recover from that kind of thing.

    Keep in mind, it is very possible that the substitute was not fully informed about you, which is neither fair to you nor to them.  And it is good that the teacher, albeit late, did apologize to you.  Sometimes people was ASD will do behaviours that if an NT person did them, they would be rude, but are not rude from an ASD point of view.  This is where I think many teachers make mistakes, but fully informed teachers tend to not make this kind of mistake.

    Your friend does not understand your issues.  I doubt she is trying to be mean, but it can be difficult for NT people to see things the ASD way.  She may not understand how much the teachers comment upset you, because if it happened to her, it would not bother her as much as it has you.  That is because her brain works differently, not because she is being mean.  If she did understand how such careless comments make you feel, then I assure you, she would be upset on your behalf and would not accuse you of acting like a child.

    Different things upset different people, and it is very likely that things which upset NT people do not upset you at all (such as ettiquete breaches).  I think the world would be a better place if people saw the effect they had on each other.  It does not matter that what bothers you would not bother others, it only matters that it causes you distress.  And there are NT people who do get that.  But unfortunatly it often seems not enough of them.

    I think the best way for you to calm down is to understand on an intellectual level that the teacher is not trying to wind you up and neither is your friend.  The problem is neither of them are seeing it from your point of view.  Their actions result in you getting upset, but that is not their intent.

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  • I am really sorry to hear you had a bad day.  It isn't always easy to recover from that kind of thing.

    Keep in mind, it is very possible that the substitute was not fully informed about you, which is neither fair to you nor to them.  And it is good that the teacher, albeit late, did apologize to you.  Sometimes people was ASD will do behaviours that if an NT person did them, they would be rude, but are not rude from an ASD point of view.  This is where I think many teachers make mistakes, but fully informed teachers tend to not make this kind of mistake.

    Your friend does not understand your issues.  I doubt she is trying to be mean, but it can be difficult for NT people to see things the ASD way.  She may not understand how much the teachers comment upset you, because if it happened to her, it would not bother her as much as it has you.  That is because her brain works differently, not because she is being mean.  If she did understand how such careless comments make you feel, then I assure you, she would be upset on your behalf and would not accuse you of acting like a child.

    Different things upset different people, and it is very likely that things which upset NT people do not upset you at all (such as ettiquete breaches).  I think the world would be a better place if people saw the effect they had on each other.  It does not matter that what bothers you would not bother others, it only matters that it causes you distress.  And there are NT people who do get that.  But unfortunatly it often seems not enough of them.

    I think the best way for you to calm down is to understand on an intellectual level that the teacher is not trying to wind you up and neither is your friend.  The problem is neither of them are seeing it from your point of view.  Their actions result in you getting upset, but that is not their intent.

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