Do I have to keep my autistic son in a mainstream school

Hi

Ny daughter has not had a diagnosis we are only at the beginning of her journey. She is in year 8 and has not attended school for 7 months. She has been put in a reduced timetable and now attends for 30mins a day. She cannot cope with mainstream school. We have the school nurse involved and she has said that no one can make her attend. Of course I want her to go tor school for the education and life skills that are learned but I think that children need to be in the correct school. SENCo have been good and there is no uniform or pressure to attend any lessons. Any revised timetables have to be sent to the local council and our local council were not happy that my daughter is only doing 30mins per day. What they don’t realise is, that 30mins everyday is a huge achievement for her. She usually goes in and spends time with a teacher and recently she has been spending time with another child which is an amazing step. 

Are the school being supportive? Do you think a revised timetable may help?

He struggles every morning going in and if I’m half an hour late which has taken me all morning to talk him into going that start tutting and really putting the pressure on me, mainstream is not the right place for him, there pretty much saying he shouldn’t be there but still trying to make him go because it’s the law while we wait for a special needs school but he has given up on the school now and won’t go back not sure how much trouble I will get in because he’s not in

He struggles every morning going in and if I’m half an hour late which has taken me all morning to talk him into going that start tutting and really putting the pressure on me, mainstream is not the right place for him, there pretty much saying he shouldn’t be there but still trying to make him go because it’s the law while we wait for a special needs school but he has given up on the school now and won’t go back not sure how much trouble I will get in because he’s not in

Hi

there is nothing the school can do. He must have such bad anxiety about school bless him. As long as you report his absence everyday you are not doing anything wrong. You are protecting your child because making him attend would have such a negative impact on his health. Be transparent and honest with the school. Do you have a school nurse? Ours has been fantastic and has helped to give the school a kick up the backside at times. 

I completely understand how you feel the pressure everyday is exhausting and sometimes the attitude from the attendance ladies is shocking. I feel like they think I cannot be bothered to take her. What they don’t realise is we have done what feels like a days work before even leaving the house. Some mornings I just go to the bathroom and cry. Since my daughter has been on a reduced timetable it has eased some of the pressure this may help you. 

my daughter will also never attend a mainstream school for lessons. She goes in for 30mins not every day she still has days where she refuses. She does not attend any lessons and she just plays with toys. Sometimes I get her to reception and she refuses to go any further. She is then allowed to leave. 

maybe if they took the pressure off your son he could attend for 15mims with no pressure. I know that sounds like what’s the point of but it’s building trust and confidence and getting him out of the house. I don’t know if you struggle with this but I do my daughter never wants to leave the house.

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