11 year old son with high functioning autism

Hello everyone. I need some help please as we are at a loss.

My son had a good, enjoyable time at school up until last year. He was hard work at home but teachers always reassured us that he was a good student and very popular. 18 months ago he lost it and refused to go to school and to cut a long painful story short he is diagnosed with adhd (on medication) and high functioning autism. We moved him to a small friendly school and he was unable to cope. We have started online learning and he is now refusing to do even 2 hours a day. He says his body won't let him and starts shaking. I don't think this is an act but would be interested to know if any other parents are struggling with getting their child to learn. We are struggling to understand the difference between can't and won't!

Should we back off and let him play on his games all day or keep trying and continue with the high amount of stress on the family.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Parents
  • Problems like this don’t generally come out of nowhere all of a sudden. Either there was a very powerful trigger that set this school aversion off or it was bubbling away for a long time and his teachers just weren’t seeing it. Either way what you need to do is get your son to communicate with you and tell you exactly why it was he grew to hate his last school and now hates this one too.

    i think initially you need to move the focus from how to make him do these things into getting him to explain why he doesn’t want to.

    in my view the shaking is more likely to be a reaction to anxiety surrounding school and work than any kind of overstimulation. But you need to have him articulate exactly how that works.

    i mean I’m no expert on adhd but I imagine if you have a condition that fills your body with nervous energy and then you are told you have to sit still for an hour that itself could cause some anxiety.

    Maybe you need a teaching style that allows him to fidget. Move around. Go between sitting and standing.

    instead of a seat and table why not hook the computer upto the tv and allow him to move around the living room as he goes through lessons?

Reply
  • Problems like this don’t generally come out of nowhere all of a sudden. Either there was a very powerful trigger that set this school aversion off or it was bubbling away for a long time and his teachers just weren’t seeing it. Either way what you need to do is get your son to communicate with you and tell you exactly why it was he grew to hate his last school and now hates this one too.

    i think initially you need to move the focus from how to make him do these things into getting him to explain why he doesn’t want to.

    in my view the shaking is more likely to be a reaction to anxiety surrounding school and work than any kind of overstimulation. But you need to have him articulate exactly how that works.

    i mean I’m no expert on adhd but I imagine if you have a condition that fills your body with nervous energy and then you are told you have to sit still for an hour that itself could cause some anxiety.

    Maybe you need a teaching style that allows him to fidget. Move around. Go between sitting and standing.

    instead of a seat and table why not hook the computer upto the tv and allow him to move around the living room as he goes through lessons?

Children
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