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Homeschooling autistic 7yo girl

Ria

Tips for homeschooling an autistic 7 year old? Its never felt like she's fit into mainstream (current place) or a provision.
She's verbal, loves learning facts, the things she remembers is incredible.

Why do I need to think about?
What are good topics for 7yo's to learn?
How do I work a timetable?

My daughter's attendance was perfect, she loved school before. But going into year two, she's found it difficult. Since April, she's been begging and crying not to go to school (and happily works at home), fighting not to get dressed. She said she would go to a new school, and just can't physically go there. It's not a "don't want to go", it's a literally she can't go. Her anxiety is so high

I've talked to them constantly about masking and they just say she's fine/happy at school. But in the last couple of weeks, she's been hitting herself and started biting me. I'm really concerned about her mental health.

Long story short. She has been feeling like she's not allowed to
- cry in school as she will try into trouble (teachers say stop crying/dont cry)
- say how she really feels because they say you should be happy in school, so she sees that as a rule.
- run. She wears AFOs (hypermobility/CMT) and TA told her she can't run in case she falls over and hurts herself.
- wear ear defenders during lunch. The same TA said it's not loud in the lunch hall
- have breaks when the noise in class is too much for her.

She would never dream of putting a foot wrong in school or be rude to a teacher. But late last year, I was told she had rolled her eyes at a teacher and "hid behind a book embarrassed". She was devastated by being accused of being rude.
Both the head teacher and senco both commented that "she's a bright child who just happens to have autism" and this has haunted my mind since it was said.

I had a EHCP review in January where they said no to every accommodation I asked for. Hadn't received the draft. Asked for an emergency review in May and finally got the draft the day before. But local authority said this school is the right place for her. And even the 2 days she attended after the meeting, things were still the same.

I'm just at a loss with it all. I've got in touch with everyone I can possibly think off. I've had EWO at my door telling my daughter I'm going to get into trouble for her not going to school.
IASS are telling me not to pull her from school yet but the stress is keeping me awake and giving me nightmares when I do manage to sleep.

Parents

  • Haruki,

    It can certainly be said she is not happy at school, something is disturbing her, unfortunately nonautistic people are unconscious of what they can find disturbing.

    Concerning emotions one of the best comparisons I've heard is a light switch, on or off, staying on the two extremes. Some autistic people have so much empathy that they're scared to upset anyone, any source of pain can become pain to them. If your daughter is one of the individuals with intense empathy just seeing others at school get upset or hurt can hurt her.

    Topics good for autistic people to work more on is their strengths and interests and less time on what they find difficult, still learn required basic skills that will be needed though.

    Mainstream school is hardly ever a suitable environment for autistic people, since things can be so unpredictable they can have greater anxiety and stress. The way people who don't understand your daughter can make them treat her unfairly.

    It's not safe to let the school keep disallowing her to express her feelings and needs, if you haven't contacted her GP you could ask him/her to tell the school since health and safety comes first.

    With her sensory difficulties taking breaks won't solve it, oversensitivity is triggered by overstimulation, if the environment overstimulates her she'll still have sensory issues occuring. The solution is to reduce stimulants in the environment, this is why some autistic people want to keep the environment consistent.

    "she's a bright child who just happens to have autism", absolutely not, she's a bright autistic child suffering because of how mindless the school is being concerning her needs". 

    With EWO you can make reports to higher authorities for threatening your daughter and disregarding her health and safety with their ignorance of her needs. With disregarding your daughter's health and safety you can report the school to child protection acts and the nonemergency police department with disregarding health and safety being against the laws of the country.

    Point out the suffering you are both experiencing, when autistic children have meltdowns whether resorting to hurting themselves or hurting others is a sign something is certainly wrong and unsuitable.

    All organisations you've mentioned are disregarding her health and safety giving you the right to ask the police to intervene and help solve matters, the police can either get you support or deal with it themselves for you and your daughter's safety.

    You are welcome to share my points with the school letting them know I'm an autistic adult and can say with assuraty these are reactions to something about school, so something is wrong at school.

Reply

  • Haruki,

    It can certainly be said she is not happy at school, something is disturbing her, unfortunately nonautistic people are unconscious of what they can find disturbing.

    Concerning emotions one of the best comparisons I've heard is a light switch, on or off, staying on the two extremes. Some autistic people have so much empathy that they're scared to upset anyone, any source of pain can become pain to them. If your daughter is one of the individuals with intense empathy just seeing others at school get upset or hurt can hurt her.

    Topics good for autistic people to work more on is their strengths and interests and less time on what they find difficult, still learn required basic skills that will be needed though.

    Mainstream school is hardly ever a suitable environment for autistic people, since things can be so unpredictable they can have greater anxiety and stress. The way people who don't understand your daughter can make them treat her unfairly.

    It's not safe to let the school keep disallowing her to express her feelings and needs, if you haven't contacted her GP you could ask him/her to tell the school since health and safety comes first.

    With her sensory difficulties taking breaks won't solve it, oversensitivity is triggered by overstimulation, if the environment overstimulates her she'll still have sensory issues occuring. The solution is to reduce stimulants in the environment, this is why some autistic people want to keep the environment consistent.

    "she's a bright child who just happens to have autism", absolutely not, she's a bright autistic child suffering because of how mindless the school is being concerning her needs". 

    With EWO you can make reports to higher authorities for threatening your daughter and disregarding her health and safety with their ignorance of her needs. With disregarding your daughter's health and safety you can report the school to child protection acts and the nonemergency police department with disregarding health and safety being against the laws of the country.

    Point out the suffering you are both experiencing, when autistic children have meltdowns whether resorting to hurting themselves or hurting others is a sign something is certainly wrong and unsuitable.

    All organisations you've mentioned are disregarding her health and safety giving you the right to ask the police to intervene and help solve matters, the police can either get you support or deal with it themselves for you and your daughter's safety.

    You are welcome to share my points with the school letting them know I'm an autistic adult and can say with assuraty these are reactions to something about school, so something is wrong at school.

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