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Issues with daughter's behavior

ParentingAutism

Hiya, I just need a few tips on how to deal with behavioral issues. Today was probably the worst day ever in school...

She went to school happy but then she had science (which is alright) but she got handed a test. No-one told her about it and she hasn't revised. This made her flip and she shouted at the teacher and started swearing and ripped the paper up (which is a shame because she is good at science). She basically thought her day was already messed up and that it won't be good, (black and white thinking). This was just the start of her day. 

She struggles bringing her emotions back down so she wasn't in a good frame of mind. And then all of a sudden, the fire alarm went off, which made her even more annoyed. This then carried into break and P.E (her favourite lesson). Since she couldn't get in the right frame of mind, she didn't do P.E as well as maths. Lunch she calmed down a bit but the next lesson gave a surprise. SHE WAS UP ON THE ROOF... She was throwing balls every where, climbing on the roof up a slope and sliding down and wouldn't listen to the teachers. She just exploded and had enough and told everyone to 'f**k off'. 

What do I do? Do I punish her but she struggles to self-regulate? I'm getting fed-up. What do I do about today? 

Thanks 

Parents

  • The behaviour in her lessons is obviously bad but I'm not sure what you can do about that. The main thing that sticks out to me is when she was on the roof her safety is above all else, the most important thing, fact.

    Whether you punish her for the roof incident is down to you but I think you should give her a clear CALM explanation as to why she can't go on the roof. "it could be dangerous, I don't want you to get hurt, I (mum/dad) can't be there to keep you safe, I (mum/dad) would be so upset if you hurt your self."

    Try and explain and talk to her when she is in a receptive mood and will talk to you.

  • in reply to O

    Teachers and myself told her that it's dangerous and she can get hurt and that's why every spare teacher available was there. She said that she won't do it again and that she's sorry. But, I sort of don't believe it because she liked the adrenaline, she had fun and she was in control of the situation. I've warned her she will be punished if she does it again but I don't think it'll stop her. She was also on the roof with her 2 new friends. 

  • in reply to ParentingAutism

    Well those are not friends that's for sure they need to be kept away from her as best as possible maybe speak to her teachers and make sure those kids don't keep contact with her

  • in reply to O

    Yes, I know what you mean. I do talk to her about what I tell teachers and what teachers said so she is in the loop but I only do it straight after school and after I find out then try put it behind us

  • in reply to ParentingAutism

    That's good too I'm just trying to think, so I'm autistic too and I hate being left out of loop of things especially if they are about it, I usually know if something is going on and things are being spoken about me but I don't know how to 'confront' or ask people about things unless unless they bring into it. 

    That's why I say it might be good just to bring her into the conversation and then she can you what she is thinking because right now you're talking to her teachers about her and her issues but you're not getting any of her thoughts until some incident happens, I don't want to assume anything about your day to day conversations with your daughter I can only go from what you post on here, but she might benefit from knowing what's going on and also just being assured that she is good and does good work when she does it and also not just went she does something bad, if you know what I mean.

  • in reply to O

    Yes, that could be a good idea but I keep in touch with the teachers so we just email every day

  • in reply to ParentingAutism

    Ok well that's something at least your school is on top of it.

    Would it maybe be worth you, your daughter and her teachers having a meeting after school or something just to have conversation with all parties there and things can be explained to her and she can explain things to both of you?

Reply Children
  • in reply to O

    Yes, I know what you mean. I do talk to her about what I tell teachers and what teachers said so she is in the loop but I only do it straight after school and after I find out then try put it behind us

  • in reply to ParentingAutism

    That's good too I'm just trying to think, so I'm autistic too and I hate being left out of loop of things especially if they are about it, I usually know if something is going on and things are being spoken about me but I don't know how to 'confront' or ask people about things unless unless they bring into it. 

    That's why I say it might be good just to bring her into the conversation and then she can you what she is thinking because right now you're talking to her teachers about her and her issues but you're not getting any of her thoughts until some incident happens, I don't want to assume anything about your day to day conversations with your daughter I can only go from what you post on here, but she might benefit from knowing what's going on and also just being assured that she is good and does good work when she does it and also not just went she does something bad, if you know what I mean.

  • in reply to O

    Yes, that could be a good idea but I keep in touch with the teachers so we just email every day