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My 7 son year old son is struggling in mainstream school

NAS73237

My 7 year old boy was diagnosed a few months ago and it really seems like the school, particularly his teacher and teaching assistant are not handling him very well

He has very challenging behaviour but they do not seem very patient with him. he was recently “banned” from his year play as he would not take his hoody off for the performance. He was playing a drummer in the play, it wasn’t like he was a camel or anything... 

He is the only one who sits alone in his class :( 

we are awaiting a meeting with the SENCO to discuss the issues but it really feels like he’s being isolated

I’m feeling sick with worry about my little boy and not sure what to do

his teacher last year was perfect, she communicated with us daily and really cared about my son, even before his diagnosis but this year we get very poor communication on whether he has good or bad days and we are really left in the dark 

Anyone else have issues with mainstream schools? 

  • Hello,

    we had very similar experiences with my son throughout his primary school years. The personal style of the teacher can have a massive impact, but consider as well the additional pressure that comes with each year transition.

    Having a positive relationship with the SENCO will be important and discuss the strategies and review them regularly. Your son may be very sensory and this can really drive behaviour.

    The big message to get across is that he is not behaving badly on purpose and this may be an attempt to escape a situation. 

    Have the school introduced zones of regulation? Recognising and responding at the right time is vital to avoid escalation and meltdowns.

    Make sure you review the strategies, see what helps and what doesn’t. Also talk with your son when he’s in a calm place and learn to understand what can upset him.

    Stay strong and work with the school as best you can and remember you know your child better than anyone else.

    kind regards

    Rob

  • Hello,

    That is very sad to hear and I am sure that's not helping your boy. My son is nearly 7 and we are waiting for his report from the assessment. He is in a mainstream school too. They are being very supportive academically speaking but I still find communication could be better. I think some teachers and teaching assistants should know how to approach our children way better. I also find it upsetting when my child comes back from school and tells me about the way he was spoken to/treated. A wiser choice of words or actions could make the difference. On the other hand, the school is stretched to the limit and with 30 children in a class there's not a lot more they can do. At least that is what they say.

    It's good you have a meeting with the Senco. Just be clear about your expectations and make them not overlook the impact that a school day has on your son. What I have learned is that a "bad" behaviour is always a consequence or a response to something that needs to be addressed. Work with the school on that. I wish you and your son all the best.